Colchester United 2-0 Cambridge United: Blowout on the road

Andrew Bennett reporting from among 1098 U's fans at the Weston Homes Community Stadium:

Football stadia aren’t what they used to be, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Today saw United’s first ever visit to Colchester’s Weston Homes Community Stadium, which opened in 2008, evoking memories of many trips to their previous home, Layer Road. In many ways the old place was awful: an intimidating location, rickety wooden stands, toilet facilities which would have shamed a medieval plague house, and I still have nightmares about the grey, tepid “burger” I was served there back in the Nineties.

Nonetheless, the old dump oozed character and invariably made for a fine, combative atmosphere. By way of contrast, the new ground seems to have been made of Lego, with four near-identical stands which lack any character whatsoever, and as with any stadium whose capacity is too big for its occupants, its half-empty seating drained the place of any atmosphere and made the game resemble a pre-season friendly.

It wasn’t all bad, though, by any means. Its out-of-town location did not make it suitable for any nearby pubs, but spaces in the park and ride opposite were plentiful and the facilities for supporters were more than adequate, with a café and refreshments bar open to home and away fans alike which allowed them to mingle outside in the sunshine, and acceptable food and drink in the away end of a traditional nature (i.e. nothing silly like house wine), including a comfortingly well-cooked burger and non-defrosted roll. It won’t win any haute cuisine awards, but was absolutely fine for our purposes.

It is hard to believe now, but ten seasons ago Colchester finished 10th in the Championship, seven points short of a playoff place for the Premier League. They could not defy gravity for long, finishing bottom the following term, and after eight seasons of diminishing returns in League One they now find themselves in the bottom tier and reunited with their fellow U’s from the next county. I must confess I was not familiar with any of the names in their 18-man squad today, but our clubs have moved in different circles for 14 years.

United line-up: Norris; Long, Legge, Dallison, Taylor; Mingoia, Berry, Dunne, Maris; Pigott, Williamson
On the bench: Gregory, Adams, Roberts, Clark, Keane, Newton, Elito
Shaun Derry made four changes from the team which started Tuesday’s triumph over Wednesday, reinstating Will Norris for David Gregory in goal, giving first starts of the season to Greg Taylor and George Maris in place of Blair Adams and Medy Elito, and Leon Legge was recalled to replace Josh Coulson, absent because his wife had gone into labour with little Harry.

The team started the game in the 4-4-2 formation which they employed in midweek, but fairly quickly was adjusted to a 4-1-4-1 with James Dunne holding, Maris moving inside and Ben Williamson switched to wide left. There was little sign of the flowing attacking football which eliminated their higher division opponents, however, and they fell behind inside 8 minutes.

It all stemmed from a United free-kick; when it was cleared they regained possession but gradually passed it backwards until Maris knocked it back to Norris. His pass, like so many to come from his colleagues, was underhit, Norris’ clearance went straight to Chris Porter in the centre circle, and all of a sudden the U’s were on the retreat. Porter found Sammie Szmodics, he fed Brennan Dickerson, and his fine strike from the edge of the box flew past Norris and in at the far post. 1-0.

There was immediate evidence of disharmony in the United ranks as Norris bawled out his team-mates who promptly answered back, doubtless pointing out that it was his poor clearance that had set Colchester on the attack in the first place. Two minutes later it might have been even worse for the U’s when Szmodics thundered a shot in on goal, but Norris partially redeemed himself with a splendid leaping tip over the top.

United almost responded on 16 when Joe Pigott wriggled through to aim a carefully placed shot at goal from ten yards, but Sam Walker dived low to his right to make a fine save. Thereafter, though, all the pressure belonged to Colchester as they opened up the U’s defence almost at will. The hosts found easy pickings down the flanks, where exposed fullbacks Long and Taylor offered their opponents far too much space and cross after cross rained into the box, and the whole United team looked strangely out of sorts, failing time and again to execute even the simplest of passes.

Even more disturbingly, on several occasions when United did have the ball, a player would look up, scan the horizon and fail to see anyone making himself available, culminating in a hopeful hoof forward and loss of possession. Colchester were no great shakes, but United seemed set on making them look like Barcelona as they allowed them to run through and past their midfield time and time again.
Somehow, though, the hosts were unable to increase their lead. Szmodics fell feebly under Legge’s challenge in a transparent attempt at gaining a penalty which fooled nobody, Richard Brindley fired wildly over on 20 and a series of corners could not yield any further decent goal chances, the U’s throwing bodies in the way to block any such attempts.

United were just clinging on, though, with Luke Berry and Maris ineffectual in the centre of midfield, Piero Mingoia isolated on the right and Williamson looking unsure as to where he should be running on the left, while the back four was creaking and groaning like a Tudor warship in a force ten gale. And there just seemed to be no fight or energy running through the team, just 11 introverts climbing into their shells and not communicating with each other.

Derry tired of his team’s lame duck performance thus far and did not even wait until half-time to make his first change, making his point forcefully by withdrawing Tom Dallison on 42 and replacing him with Mark Roberts, although in truth he could have withdrawn just about any player on the park. The substitute made a good diving block from Szmodics’ shot as the first half came to an end, then the team retired to the dressing room where doubtless Derry had already thoroughly warmed up the hairdryer.

The manager made a further change at the start of the second half, replacing the disappointing Maris with Conor Newton. The shape of the team remained the same, though, and the pattern of the game remained duly unchanged, Dickerson firing wide and Porter’s dangerous run and cross cleared just the right side of the post by Legge. Norris dived low to stop an angled Tom Eastman drive on 55, then Porter headed wide from Drey Wright’s cross.

United still looked lethargic and out of sorts, but Derry’s options were limited by having his only two fit strikers already out on the pitch, so in desperation he withdrew Williamson for Elito on 58. It almost paid off six minutes later when Pigott crossed from the right and found the erratic winger in the middle, but his header cannoned off the bar and out of play. If only the roles had been reversed.

That was as good as it got for the U’s, whose collective and individual performances declined thereafter in a morass of negativity and tentativeness, passes still going astray and no-one appearing to really want the ball. A better team than Colchester would have punished them more thoroughly. Eastman’s header on 65 lacked the power to trouble Norris, then Doug Loft replaced Szmodics, while Wright was shown the first yellow card on 69 for dissent after Brindley was penalised for a foul on Mingoia.

The hosts’ second change saw Denny Johnstone enter the fray in place of Porter on 71. A rare shot from United saw Pigott fire over two minutes later, then Johnstone shot wide at the other end, and somehow a U’s side playing like a gurgle of drains entered the final ten minutes still just a goal down.

Their weakness down the flanks, however, finally cost them dear eight minutes from time when Sean Long gave Lewis Kinsella all the time and space in the world to pick his cross and he found Johnstone, completely unmarked in the middle, to power a header past the helpless Norris. 2-0.

It was almost a relief to the disgruntled United supporters; it’s the hope that kills you, and that had now been swept irrevocably away. Colchester, without a win thus far this season, had looked happy to sit on their lead from early on and must have been delighted that it was so easy to do so. Taylor headed a free-kick wide on 87 and Berry, who had utterly failed in his role as captain, was booked for a stupid foul on Kurtis Guthrie three minutes later, thanks mainly to the Colchester man’s preposterous overreaction, tumbling to the floor and rolling over and over again as if he was lying on a steep slope.

Craig Slater replaced his thespian colleague for the five minutes of added time, during which far from chasing the game, a disinterested-looking United side seemed content to pass it sideways to each other on the halfway line. Their wretched capitulation was deservedly greeted with boos at the final whistle

It is difficult to say just how the team which put Sheffield Wednesday to the sword four days ago could suddenly morph into a collection of shrinking violets, how energy could turn to lethargy, how attitude could turn to torpitude. A really good side at this level, like Portsmouth or Luton, would have put them to the sword by five or six goals and Derry could not explain it afterwards, although to his credit he did not make any excuses for his team’s “horror show.” What we do want, though, is for him to know how to do something about it, and swiftly, with a trip to Doncaster in the offing next week. The lop-sidedness of his squad does not help, but for goodness’ sake, surely these players could not perform this badly again unless they were severely tranquilised. If they do not play (again) like they have spent all the previous night on a pub crawl, that will at least be some sort of improvement.

At least Channel 5’s ‘Goal Rush’ programme raised a wry chuckle later on. Their brief highlights consisted of Dickenson’s goal, Pigott’s saved shot and Elito’s effort hitting the bar, after which the voiceover stated “Colchester rode out the storm” and showed their second goal for the most misleading 30 seconds ever. A storm? An earwig blowing off would create more wind than United did today…

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Statto Corner
United have failed to win either of their first two league matches for the first time since 2010, when they lost 1-0 at Wrexham then drew 2-2 at home to Grimsby Town. They also gained only one point from their opening two games in 2006; in both seasons they ended up finishing 17th in the Conference.

The last time this happened in the Football League was in 2004, when they lost 2-1 at Wycombe then drew 1-1 at home to Leyton Orient. That season they finished bottom and were relegated to the Conference.

The U’s have not lost both of their opening two League matches since 1994; they were defeated 3-0 at Wycombe, then lost 4-3 at home to Stockport County, with their goals coming from Matt Joseph, Ollie Morah and Carlo Corazzin. Gary Johnson’s team that day was: Filan, Hunter, Barrick, Craddock, Heathcote, O’Shea, Hyde, Rattle (Morah), Butler, Corazzin, Joseph (Elad). They finished 20th that season and were relegated to Division Three due to a realignment of the divisions following the Premier League’s reduction from 22 clubs to 20.

United have now lost on their last five visits to Colchester, dating back to 1997-98; their last trip to Layer Road was on 20th October 2001 when they lost 3-1 despite taking the lead via Armand One. Scott McGleish then scored twice for the hosts with Gavin Johnson adding the other.

Overall in the Football League, United have won 12 home games out of 16 against Colchester with no draws and four defeats. Before today they had won 5 times in Colchester, drawn 3 times and lost on 8 occasions. The two clubs’ only competitive meetings before United gained entry to the League in 1970 were with Colchester’s Reserves, with whom they competed in the Eastern Counties League between 1951 and their admission to the Southern League in 1958.

The clubs have also been drawn together twice in the FA Cup and twice in the League Cup, with Colchester prevailing every time, and four times in the LDV Vans Trophy and its predecessors, with a one win each and two draws in the group stages. Their meeting at the Abbey Stadium on 24th November 1987 in the Freight Rover Trophy “attracted” the lowest ever home attendance for United in that competition, 857, and appropriately enough it was a goalless draw. Can you boast that you were there?

United team: Branagan, Poole, Murray, Beattie, Crowe, P.Turner, Butler, Clayton, Rigby (Horwood), Purdie, A.Kimble
Colchester: Walton, Hedman, Grenfall, Chatterton, Barker, Hinshelwood, White, Wilkins, Tempest, English, Reeves (Hill)

Today’s attendance of 4,521 has never been recorded for a Cambridge United match before. The nearest is 4,518 for an away match at… Colchester, on 29th December 1997. United lost 3-2, a brace of Jamie Barnwell goals beaten by two from Richard Wilkins and one from Aaron Skelton.

Player Ratings
Norris 6. At fault for Colchester’s first goal, although made some good saves thereafter.
Long 4. Struggled badly with the physical side of the game.
Legge 6. Leon is the most reliable player in the team, but even his form was dragged down by everyone else today.
Dallison 4. All over the place positionally and looks to have a lot to learn. Quickly.
Taylor 5. Given little help down the flank, but stood off his man far too much and allowed the opposition to cross at will.
Mingoia 5. Starved of possession so unable to make an impact.
Dunne 5. Fairly solid at first, but passes gradually began to go astray along with those of his team-mates.
Berry 4. Desperately insipid and uninspired performance and failed in his capacity of captain.
Maris 4. Deeply disappointing after Tuesday’s superb effort, unable to make any impression on the game.
Williamson 4. Never got going and he is certainly no left winger.
Pigott 4. Struggled as lone striker with poor service, but simply must put himself about more physically.
Roberts 4. His lack of pace and mobility was all too obvious.
Newton 5. Started reasonably well but soon sank to the level of his colleagues.
Elito 5. The odd nice touch, but failed to hurt the opposition in any way and missed his only chance to score.

Match Summary
United’s first visit to the Weston Homes Community Stadium was a nightmare from start to finish as they failed collectively and individually in a truly dismal display devoid of energy, tempo, spirit and understanding. The manager has a lot of work to do on this showing.

Man of the Match
This award has been withheld due to a lack of any suitable candidates.

Ref Watch
Yates 7. No complaints.

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Statto Corner
Tonight United won their first game in the League Cup since 10th September 2002, when they defeated Reading 3-1 at the Abbey before collapsing 7-0 at home to Sunderland in the second round. Of course they did not play in the cup between 2005-06 and 2013-14.

United’s epic win over Wednesday was their sixth League Cup match to go to extra time since they first entered it in 1970. In October 1986 they shocked Wimbledon, three divisions above them, by drawing 2-2 at Plough Lane after a 1-1 first-leg draw at the Abbey to go through on away goals. Eleven years later they lost 2-1 at West Bromwich Albion after drawing 1-1 in the first leg, while in 1998 came that unforgettable night at Nottingham Forest when they drew 3-3 before succumbing 4-3 on penalties.

West Brom eliminated the U’s from the cup again in 2001, drawing 1-1 at the Abbey then winning 4-3 on penalties, while two years ago United held Birmingham City to a 1-1 draw after 90 minutes at St Andrews only to concede two more goals in extra time.

United and Sheffield Wednesday first met at the Abbey on 7th August 1976 in the Shipp Cup, a pre-season tournament played in a group format which also involved Peterborough and Lincoln; at the time the U’s were in Division Four and Wednesday were in Division Three, and the Owls ran out comfortable winners, 5-2.
A year later United had joined Wednesday in the Third Division but competed in the Shipp Cup again, with Huddersfield replacing Lincoln. This time the U’s won 3-2 with goals from Brendon Batson, Floyd Streete and Tom Finney.

United repeated the dose in the League that season, dismissing the Owls 3-0 at the Abbey with another goal from Finney and a brace from Alan Biley, then drew 0-0 at Hillsborough on their way to a second successive promotion, leaving the Yorkshiremen behind.

The clubs were reunited in Division Two for the 1980-81 season and remained rivals for four consecutive seasons. Wednesday became something of a bogey side for the U’s and in eight League meetings, United managed just one draw and seven defeats, and were also eliminated from the FA Cup by them in the fifth round of 1982-83 via a 2-1 defeat at the Abbey.

Since United’s relegation in 1984 the clubs have never again been in the same division, but there have been some unforgettable cup meetings. The most famous was on 16th February 1991 when John Beck’s all-conquering side were once again on the way to a second consecutive promotion from Division Three, one level below Wednesday. Ron Atkinson’s side visited the Abbey in the fifth round of the FA Cup and were taken apart, 4-0, thanks to goals from Dion Dublin (2), Lee Philpott and John Taylor, and United were unlucky to lose 2-1 at Arsenal in the quarter-final.

The United team was: Vaughan; Fensome, Chapple, O’Shea, Kimble; Cheetham, Wilkins, Leadbitter, Philpott (Dennis); Dublin, Taylor.
Wednesday: Turner, Anderson, King (Harkes), Palmer, Shirtliff, Pearson, Wilson, Sheridan, Hirst, Williams (Francis), Worthington

By the time the clubs met again, two years later, they were both one level higher in the renamed First Division and Premier League respectively. This time their FA Cup third round meeting went the visitors’ way as Wednesday won 2-1 with goals from John Harkes and Mark Bright after having fallen behind to a Mick Heathcote strike.

The last time the clubs met was in September 1998, by which time they were three divisions apart. United travelled to Hillsborough for the second round, first leg of the Worthington Cup and shocked their illustrious hosts by taking an early lead via Trevor Benjamin then holding out for a notable giant-killing scalp to give Owls manager Danny Wilson déjà vu; he had played for Wednesday in that 4-0 defeat in 1991. “We’ll have to match Cambridge’s commitment and team spirit,” he said, looking forward to the second leg. “We can’t afford the fancy dan rubbish.”

Wednesday brought out all the big guns for the second leg at the Abbey: Paolo di Canio, Benito Carbone, Andy Booth, Wim Jonk, Des Walker. In a classic cup tie United absorbed early pressure than began to ask their own questions with their three-pronged forward line of Benjamin, John Taylor and Martin Butler. Jamie Campbell’s unfortunate own goal put Wednesday ahead in the 69th minute, but Benjamin levelled the score on the night five minutes later with a header from Alex Russell’s free-kick and Roy McFarland’s side saw the game through for another notable shock. They went on to come back from 3-0 down at Nottingham Forest in the next round to draw 3-3 after extra time and lose 4-3 on penalties.

United team: Van Heusden; Chenery, Duncan, Joseph, Campbell; Mustoe, Wanless, Russell; Taylor, Benjamin, Butler
Wednesday: Pressman, Briscoe, Hinchcliffe, Newsome (Barrett), Emerson, Walker, Atherton, Carbone (Sanetti), Booth, Jonk (Alexandersson), Di Canio

The largest attendance at the Abbey for a match against Wednesday is 10,834 for their FA Cup meeting in February 1983, followed by 9,624 in February 1991 and 9,231 for their League meeting in January 1981. The biggest crowds at Hillsborough to see the U’s are all for League matches: 18,314 in April 1982, 14,947 in September 1983 and 14,315 in April 1981.

Andy McCulloch has scored the most goals for Wednesday against the U’s over the years, six in total, followed by Gary Bannister on four and Ian Nimmo with three. For United, Floyd Streete has scored four times and Alan Biley thrice.

Player Ratings
Gregory 8. Faultless display of confident handling. Will Norris has real competition.
Long 7. Decent display, gradually settling into the team. Only black mark was his feeble defending against Joao in the build-up to Wednesday’s goal.
Coulson 8. Superb marking job on the hulking Nuhiu, dominating in the air and restricting him to one goalscoring chance.
Dallison 8. Much improved from Saturday.
Adams 7. Still finding his feet in the side, but the talent appears to be there.
Mingoia 9. Simply magnificent.
Dunne 7. Solid job until withdrawn.
Berry 9. Captain Fantastic.
Elito 6. A puzzling player, who can look confident on the ball one minute and look as if he has never seen a ball before a minute later. Not convinced so far.
Williamson 7. Slow start but made a dynamic contribution as the match wore on, although he still really needs a goal.
Pigott 7. Led the line bravely against Wednesday’s giants, albeit he could still learn a lot about centre-forward play from Barry Corr.

Maris 8. Superb, game-changing display from the bench, full of aggression, pace and skill, and must surely start ahead of Elito on Saturday.

Newton 8. Classy and perceptive, now he is knocking on the first team door as well.
Taylor 7. Settled in comfortably, good to have him back.

Match Summary
United battled back from the ropes to shock their lofty visitors thanks to two brilliantly taken and well-timed goals with a stunning extra time performance of pace, passion and penetration. One of the great cup nights at the Abbey.

Man of the Match
Piero Mingoia. What a signing this boy looks already, not just for his spectacular goalscoring but for his top-quality crossing and overall play, full of positivity and trickery. A future Abbey legend in the making.

Ref Watch
Stroud 7. Barely noticed him, praise indeed for a referee.

Soundtrack of the Day
C Duncan “Wanted To Want It Too”

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“Woooooooaaaaaarrrrrryeeeaaaaahhhhhhh!!”There are some sounds you do not hear very often at the Abbey. Some good-natured cheering? Check. Some muttering and moaning? Now and again. Shouts of encouragement? Of course. Some light snoring? Occasionally. But every now and then comes a special noise, made by fans who are witnessing something truly exceptional, quite extraordinary and really rather beautiful.

Before Tuesday night, I think I last heard it on 19th March 2005 against Wycombe Wanderers, when Tes Bramble looked up and let fly with a shot from just outside the centre circle which did not rise or fall but simply flew, straight as an arrow, into the corner of the net with all the power of a bazooka. The crowd could see it was going in from the moment it left his foot and they made the above sound, a mixture of anticipation, awe, celebration and delirium when it finally smashed into the back of the net, the only surprise being that it did not continue straight through the netting and the South Stand and halfway across Coldham’s Common.

I heard that noise again on Tuesday as United’s match against Sheffield Wednesday ticked over into added time, when Piero Mingoia cut inside from deep on the right wing, glided towards goal without appearing to touch the ground at all, and when the goal came into his sights almost 30 yards out, he let fly with his left foot to send the ball screaming into the top left-hand corner off the underside of the bar with shot no goalkeeper on Earth could have saved. And like Bramble’s goal, it seemed inevitable from the moment it left his boot; there was simply no doubt that it would be a goal, hence the crowd’s elongated ululation of elation. Enjoy such magic moments, people; they come along all too rarely.

The fact that the goal only inspired United to even greater heights in extra time was a welcome added bonus. But more of that later.

The Football League Cup has gone by many names over the years since it was first given a sponsor’s name in 1981, when it became the Milk Cup. Now it is the EFL Cup, so named (a) because of a gratuitous rebrand of the great name of the oldest national league in the world and (b) because the dunderheads who run it couldn’t find a sponsor.

A recent interview with the league’s marketing director revealed the full horror of the sort of soulless sales-speak that rules our national game these days. Phrases like ‘brand refresh,’ ‘from the top down,’ ‘tell the story,’ ‘stakeholder engagement piece,’ ‘golden thread,’ ‘a bigger narrative,’ ‘brand identity perspective’ and ‘marketing channels’ demonstrated the dead-eyed, price-of-everything and value-of-nothing mindset of people who call the Football League name “a bit old” (it’s called HISTORY, many people quite value it) and its new name “a clear brand” (before it was a League of Football clubs, now it’s, er, ‘Effel’). It’s all basically just a logo; let’s just copy the Americans, NFL, MLB, NBA, MLS, NRA…

The producers of all this hot, empty air have also made a complete and utter laughable shambles of the organisation of the ‘EFL Trophy,’ now the ‘Checkatrade Trophy,’ but you didn’t really need me to tell you that. Looking forward to seeing Middlesbrough’s youth team visit the Abbey in a ‘regionalised’ tie in front of a few hundred spectators, are you? Great branding, guys. You are hereby branded buffoons of the highest order who should have not been allowed anywhere near the Football League, which does not need an ‘English’ before it because it was the first of its kind anywhere. Now THAT is a ‘USP’.

That’s better. Now let’s just call it the League Cup, shall we? Typically these days every ‘big’ club and some who think they are ‘big’ tend to rest their poor, exhausted first team players, who have after all played one whole League game so far this season, and send out their understudies, and after they lose to a club from a lower league the managers inevitably chorus ‘but I thought the team I picked was strong enough to win!’ Perhaps some of them even mean it.

Sheffield Wednesday were no exception, although they were playing just two days after their opening league fixture on Sunday, and only Ross Wallace started his second game in three days. Nonetheless the team could boast some serious talent in Sunderland loanee Will Buckley, powerful Portuguese international Lucas Joao, Senegalese winger Modou Sougou and hulking Austrian striker and least pronounceable man in football, Atdhe Nuhiu, the sort of name you make up when you can’t do anything else with a terrible hand in Scrabble. Their stand-in goalkeeper, Joe Wildsmith, became the first custodian to wear a number 2 shirt at the Abbey.

United line-up: Gregory; Long, Coulson, Dallison, Adams; Mingoia, Dunne, Berry, Elito; Williamson, Pigott
On the bench: Iron, Taylor, Roberts, Clark, Keane, Maris, Newton

Shaun Derry’s side showed four changes from Saturday, with Will Norris, Leon Legge and Harrison Dunk absent through injury, replaced by David Gregory, Josh Coulson and Medy “Eddie Melito” Elito, while a change of formation to 4-4-2 saw Max Clark replaced by Ben Williamson. Youth team keeper Fin Iron made the subs’ bench which boasted a strong four-man midfield backup but could not muster a single out-and-out striker.

A rather disappointing home attendance was mitigated by over 1,400 away supporters, who were handed the South Habbin as well as the South Stand, and their team eschewed this season’s home strip of blue with white pinstripes for black shirts and luminous orange (and exceptionally baggy) shorts.

Wednesday’s team was a big, powerful side and line leader Nuhiu had an early shot blocked, but Gregory looked comfortable in the United goal, plucking a Conor O’Grady header out of the air from a corner on 8. A minute later a half-cleared U’s flag-kick found its way to Piero Mingoia out on the left wing, his pinpoint cross found the head of Tom Dallison and he beat Wildsmith only to be denied a goal by the closest of offside calls.

The visitors passed the ball fluently and speedily and United had to graft hard to stay with them, but Coulson and Dallison stood firm at the back. Wallace fired past the upright on 17, then the hosts created another good chance when Mingoia crossed from the right, O’Grady’s header down fell straight to Joe Pigott, he burst through the line and saw his close-range angled shot blocked away by Wildsmith.

Wednesday continued to press and probe, Buckley and Liam Palmer having shots blocked, and a fine triangular passing move on 32 sent Palmer into the box down the right channel, but Dallison flew across to make a splendid block to his angled shot. Although the visitors enjoyed the majority of the possession, United contained them pretty well, restricting them mainly to shots from outside the box, Luke Berry and James Dunne working like Trojans in the centre. Debutant O’Grady’s through ball on 40 sent Lucas Joao away down the left channel, but his shot flew into the side netting, and Gregory clutched a Palmer drive without much difficulty.

The first half thus ended goalless, United having worked hard to achieve a stalemate but knowing that even greater effort would be needed after the lemons.

Experienced goal poacher Gary Hooper was introduced by the visitors for the second half in place of Sougou, surprisingily utilised in midfield, and within six minutes of the restart Buckley cut inside from the right and struck a left-footed shot against the foot of the right-hand post, the ball rebounding to safety.

A minute later, though, the Owls were hooting their delight. Lucas Joao latched onto a long ball from Wallace, shrugged off the challenge of Sean Long, leaving him in a heap on the byline, then cut back inside from the right, skipped past Dallison’s challenge and fired low into the net from ten yards to score a goal all too similar to that scored by Barnet at the weekend. 1-0.

Before the hour was up Derry made two changes, replacing Dunne and the enigmatic Elito with Conor Newton and George Maris, and both subs made instant impressions with their drive and energy. For the visitors Wallace drove an ambitious 30-yarder wide and Nuhiu nodded a corner off target, but the enormous target man might have done better on 62 when he ran (OK, shambled) onto a low Palmer cross, but he spooned his shot onto the top of the bar and over from close range under pressure from Long.

Maris then tested Wildsmith with a shot from the edge of the box, while on 72 Lucas Joao slid narrowly wide from the D. Six minutes later came United’s best chance so far: Dallison found Williamson with a long ball down the middle, he laid off to Berry whose shot was blocked by a combination of Jose Semedo and O’Grady, but it ran to Williamson, unmarked inside the box; his over-deliberate shot, however, sailed just over the far angle when he really ought to have concentrated on just hitting the target.

Time was beginning to run out for United. Wednesday replaced Wallace with teenage American Under-20 international James Murphy four minutes from time, and they looked about to see the game out until right on 90 came Mingoia’s stunning equaliser to raise the roof off the Abbey. 1-1.

Suddenly United were a team transformed. Into injury time a brilliant run to the byline by Newton culminated in a cross which was converted by Maris, but the fans’ acclaim was swiftly terminated by the referee’s whistle for handball and a yellow card for the U’s Maradona impersonator.

So it was into extra time. One might have expected the powerful higher division club to reassert itself as fatigue set in, but instead it was the hosts who seemed to grow and pick up the pace, driven on by a dynamic, fleet-footed midfield of Maris, Newton, Berry and Mingoia, and the supporters picked up on their heroes’ determination as the noise gradually increased.

Early into extra time the visitors replaced Lucas Joao with George Hirst, 17-year-old son of Hillsborough legend David (now doesn’t that make you feel old) while on 96 Greg Taylor came in at left-back for Blair Adams. Hirst fired over seven minutes later, then Jeremy Helan was deservedly booked for a cynical foul on Mingoia which looked like payback for his goal.

As the first half of added time ticked to a close United came so near to taking the lead for the first time. A long clearance from Gregory found Maris on the left flank and he immediately made for goal, cutting easily inside his marker and firing a fine shot for the far post which was tipped away at full stretch by Wildsmith. The Abbey temperature ratcheted up another notch.

The U’s continued to take the game to Wednesday after they switched ends. Coulson nodded a corner over, Maris had a shot blocked then he was fed by Mingoia and rolled another effort tantalisingly past the far post, continuing his impressive pre-season form. Mingoia, always at the heart of everything good about United, then dragged a shot wide, Taylor and Maris combined down the left for the latter to drive another teasing cross into the six-yard box which was hacked away for a corner and Pigott shot over the top, and thoughts now began to drift to a penalty shootout.

United just kept surging forward, though, once-superior Wednesday now sagging on the ropes under their pacy onslaught, and with 118 minutes on the clock the payoff finally came. Mingoia was involved as ever, finding Coulson 25 yards out, whose high ball into the crowded box looked somewhat miscued; it dropped, however, to Berry, eight yards out to the left of the goal, and with consummate skill he controlled, turned his marker, Marnick Vermijl, and bobbled a shot low across goal when Wildsmith was expecting him to go for the near post, and to another tumultuous roar of acclaim, it rolled inexorably into the far corner of the net. 2-1!

A bedraggled Wednesday had no answer. United retained possession with great composure, the visitors’ last attack came to nothing, and the final whistle heralded wild celebrations and an epic victory that had looked unlikely for so much of the opening 90 minutes but seemed almost inevitable after the hosts’ siege in extra time.

Games like this are what great memories are made of, and are why we endure any number of forgettable afternoons and evenings. Massive credit must go the United players and management for the unfailingly positive attitude that led to their ultimate reward, from the rock-solid keeper, gritty central defence, hard-working strikers, inspirational substitutes and the two stars of the night, Mingoia and Berry, the smallest players on the pitch with the biggest hearts. Now if they can just recreate that extra-time spirit every matchday, we might be onto something here. Who knows, we may hear That Sound again sooner than we think…

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Cambridge United 0-0 Carlisle United: What a bunch of cards
Andrew Bennett reporting from the Habbin ...
It was a pleasure to welcome Roy McFarland back to the Abbey Stadium today, evoking memories of that great United promotion side of 1998-99, and some of his anecdotes and observations afterwards in ‘The Dressing Room’ had to be heard to be believed. Unfortunately the preceding 90 minutes of football brought to mind a rather less enjoyable day of Uncle Roy’s reign, specifically 28th December 1999, when Cardiff City came to the Abbey missing six regulars due to a flu virus.

The visitors were reduced to 10 men just before the end of the first half when Russell Perrett received a second yellow card, then former U’s man Craig Middleton joined him in the early bath after 63 minutes for similar indiscretions. United laid siege to the Welshmen’s goal and 15 minutes from time they were reduced to eight men when Lee Phillips was dismissed for handling John Taylor’s goalbound shot. The ever-dependable Martin Butler stepped up to take the penalty...and saw his feeble effort comfortably saved.

The last quarter of an hour was like Persians versus Spartans, although puzzlingly United kept their entire back four on the pitch, but through profligate finishing and desperate defending the match remained resolutely goalless until the deeply frustrating end. And to add insult to injury, Marvin the Moose was ordered off for making a gesture towards the Cardiff supporters, and a United programme seller was reprimanded for carrying an inflatable sheep.

I thought it best not to mention any of this to Roy. He had enough on his plate at the time, dealing with the likes of Steve Guinan, Neil Mackenzie and Scott Eustace (all later sacked by the club) and a board of directors which was on the verge of driving the club off the edge of a financial cliff. Happy days.

Cardiff’s team that day was not an especially dirty one, more clumsy really, in stark contrast to today’s opponents, also a club in blue beginning with ‘Car,’ which was probably the most violent, cynical and plain dishonest seen at the Abbey this season. Although Morecambe are coming on Tuesday night.
Like Carlisle, the U’s were still clinging on to their hopes of making the playoffs, although Shaun Derry’s target of four wins from five looked ambitious given that United have only won three League games in a row once this season and won two consecutive matches just twice more. But hey, if Leicester can win the Premier League and Peterborough can attain mid-table mediocrity…

United line-up: Norris; Furlong, Legge, Coulson, Dunk; Williamson, Berry, Dunne, Ledson, Clark; Spencer
On the bench: Beasant, Omozusi, Roberts, O’Neill, Williams, Ismail, Simpson

Derry selected an unchanged starting XI from that which won at Newport last week, with Harrison Dunk filling in for the injured Ryan Haynes at left-back behind a fluid five-man midfield in which Ben Williamson had licence to roam upfield in support of Jimmy Spencer.

It was an attritional contest from the start and the tackles were soon flying in from the visitors after Spencer had an early shot blocked, Hallam Hope bringing down Darnell Furlong. The next challenge was even worse as centre-forward Charlie Wyke poleaxed Leon Legge with what looked like an elbow on 8, and he was lucky to only receive a yellow card for his marker’s considerable pains, but big Leon is made of stern stuff and continued after treatment, having a header from a corner blocked three minutes later. Wyke continued to foul and complain to the referee as if he had drawn himself in the sweepstake for first sending-off, but he had cause to moan when Legge brought him down on the quarter hour to incur a reciprocal yellow card.

Hope was soon kicking Furlong down the wing again but he went too far on 23 with a ghastly foot-up sliding tackle-cum-assault on the United right-back and deserved the instant red card he was shown, although for some reason he stayed on the pitch to plead with the man in black instead of just walking off, as if he really believed that Mr Toner would say “Oh…all right then, as you asked so nicely, we’ll just forget about that silly old card, eh? And don’t be a naughty boy again!”

United continued to press, the lively Max Clark firing a shot wide, but an awful mix-up on the half-hour between Legge and James Dunne sent Jack Stacey through on goal; however, he dragged his shot wide of the far post when he really should have done better. After that the U’s resumed their pressure, Williamson and Ryan Ledson both having shots blocked, then Dunne burst through as he did last week but lifted his shot over the top.
The U’s were all build-up and no finish. Legge headed a corner down on 40 which was prodded home by Williamson, only to be foiled by the offside flag, then Spencer essayed a curler which flew just wide of the far post. As half-time approached, the visitors’ Michael Raynes inexplicably collapsed clutching his face after heading the ball and was eventually replaced by Derek Asamoah, a chippy little character whose first action was to try to pick a fight with Clark then complain to the ref.

Added time amounted to some six minutes due to stoppages and United kept going forward, but Spencer was off-target with a header from a free-kick, then Josh Coulson did the same from a corner, and a fractious and fractured first half finished unfulfilled.

Macauley Gillesphey replaced Stacey for Carlisle after the interval, while for United, Clark dropped to left-back to allow Harrison Dunk to take a more advanced position. The pattern of the match remained unchanged, though, with the visitors using up as much time as they possibly could whenever the opportunity arose. A rare Carlisle shot on 57, their first on target from Luke Joyce, drew a decent save from Will Norris, then Legge went down with an injury just before the hour; after some treatment the stretcher bearers came on, only to be waved aside by the big man as he got to his feet to cheers from his adoring public, but he was unable to continue and was replaced by Mark Roberts.

Soon afterwards Spencer took advantage of some hesitancy in the opposition rearguard to surge through the middle on goal, but he took one touch too many when he should have shot earlier and his shot was blocked away by a lunging defender. Derry made a positive change on 65, introducing Zeli Ismail for Dunne, but Carlisle continued to sit back and defend robustly. Asamoah then collapsed to the floor for no apparent reason but the ref allowed play to continue as Dunk beat his man and advanced into the box, but he failed to pick out a colleague with a cross (a common complaint for all United players today) and play was then stopped to howls of protest from the amber faithful.

Mr Toner then staged an uncontested drop ball with a Carlisle player, who promptly hoofed it downfield so that it bounced out of play deep into the United half, to more displeasure from the amber hordes. When did they introduce a rule outlawing contested drop balls? They are rarer than an Aston Villa player who seems to give a monkey’s.

Danny Grainger was next into the book on 69 for a foul on Furlong, followed three minutes later by team-mate Tom Miller for some pathetically transparent timewasting, deliberately missing the ball that was throw to him by a ballboy at a throw-in. Then it was Furlong’s turn for a card for an unsubtle shove in the back on Wyke, presenting the visitors with a free-kick 25 yards out. Grainger’s effort cannoned off the wall into the air and in the ensuing chaos it ran to Asamoah about three yards out who somehow managed to stab it over the bar.

It was becoming increasingly apparent that neither team would score a goal if they played until midnight. Robbie Simpson replaced Spencer on 77 and after some more falling-over-then-getting-up-again theatrics Wyke was withdrawn in favour of Antony Sweeney. Simpson came close to scoring with his first touch when Roberts nodded a free-kick down into his path and his angled shot was deflected wide for a corner. Two Carlisle defenders stayed down to delay proceedings but soon had to get up when it was apparent that there was nothing wrong with them.
A couple of corners ensued as the U’s tried to force a winner, then Ismail’s cross evaded the heads in the middle and Luke Berry stretched to meet it on the volley but could not keep it down. Mark Ellis became the next cardee on 83 for a foul on Williamson, and three minutes later United came their nearest to scoring yet, Berry meeting Clark’s corner with a towering header that drew a fine reaction block from keeper Mark Gillespie.

Still the hosts pushed and probed, and as they entered five minutes’ added time Gillespie’s unconvincing punch was lofted back to the far post where Simpson was arriving, but Sweeney somehow blocked his shot off the line and it rebounded off the United man for a goal-kick. Ledson and Ismail then had shots hacked away and deep into stoppage time Simpson found himself with the goal at his mercy only to be flagged offside. Inexplicably, Ellis then blasted the ball out of the ground and duly received a second booking and a red card for more ridiculously blatant timewasting.

It was too late to benefit United, though, and the match dribbled to an unsatisfactory and frustrating goalless draw. Carlisle had been the worst sort of opposition – niggly, cynical, confrontational – but the U’s could have only themselves to blame for their lack of invention and quality in the final third. It was remarkable how often players under no pressure with time to measure crosses would send them sailing out of play or falling short in playing conditions that were not difficult. The team also lacks a dominant focus in the box – Barry Corr – who would surely have made so much more impact than the current powder-puff goal “threat.” In its last ten games it has failed to score four times and scored just once in five other matches, and that is not the goalscoring record of a team chasing promotion. And they aren’t too great at grinding out Leicester-style 1-0s either, with the odd exception.

But while it is mathematically possible, the mantra “We can do it!” will continue to be dutifully recited, even though it is more in hope than expectation. Unfortunately with current injuries the squad is looking decidedly thin on options. Oh for Roy Mac’s goal machine of 1999, when Martin Butler, John Taylor and Trevor Benjamin all scored in double figures and were backed up by the likes of Paul Wanless and Alex Russell. That is the sort of quality that gets you promoted, and I just don’t see it in this side. Maybe next season.

Statto Corner
United have now kept two consecutive clean sheets for only the second time this season. The first was back in September when they drew at Hartlepool and beat Stevenage 1-0 at the Abbey. They achieved the same feat just twice last season in League games, while in their last season in the Conference their longest run of blanks extended to six matches.

There has been a total of nine red cards in United’s matches this season, three for the U’s and six for the opposition. All were awarded at the Abbey except for Chris Dunn’s at Wycombe Wanderers last September.
Carlisle have now had a total of four players sent off against Cambridge United over the years, compared to none for the U’s.

The last team to have had two men dismissed against the U’s was St Albans City in the FA Trophy in December 2013; the last time it happened in a league game was to FC Halifax in their 5-1 opening weekend defeat at the Abbey in the same season.

Only twice has the opposition had three men sent off against United. The first was Cardiff City in December 1999, in a goalless draw at the Abbey as mentioned above; the second was Exeter City in their 2-1 home defeat by the U’s in November 2002.

There have been 10 other occasions on which the opposing team has had two players dismissed against the U’s. The teams were: Burnley (1988), Reading (League Cup, 1991), Cardiff (1995), Leyton Orient (1996), Torquay (1998), Chester (1998), Bury (2000), Mansfield (2003), Histon (FA Trophy, 2008) and Boreham Wood (FA Trophy, 2011).
United have never had three players sent off in one match. They have had two dismissed seven times. The first pair were Colin Meldrum and Peter Leggett in a 1-0 win at Lincoln in October 1970, and they were followed by: Colin Calderwood and Derrick Christie (at Burnley, November 1979), Mike Bennett and Andy Beattie (at Crystal Palace, April 1984), Chris Leadbitter and Dion Dublin (on a Swedish tour in Eskilstuna, July 1992), Paul Wanless and Martin Butler (at Stevenage in the FA Cup, December 1997), Terry Fleming and Luke Guttridge (at Lincoln, December 2002) and Paul Carden and Leo Fortune-West at Histon in the FA Trophy, January 2008. You will note that all were away games.
​
Player Ratings
Norris 7. Did not have a lot to do, but was sharp and alert when needed.
Furlong 8. Put in a lively shift with some good overlapping in support of the attack.
Legge 8. Resisted all of the Carlisle thugs’ provocation until forced off, inevitably, by injury.
Coulson 7. Dealt with everything that came his way.
Dunk 7. Solid at left-back in the first half and useful further forward in the second, although all of his crosses seemed to be aimed at areas rather than specific colleagues.
Berry 7. Busy but not at his best.
Dunne 7. Quietly solid.
Ledson 8. Always involved in the action.
Clark 8. Livewire improving with every game.
Williamson 6. Still seems lost and wasted in a wide role.
Spencer 7. Led the line reasonably well, but does not have the authority or goalscoring ability of a Barry Corr.
Roberts 6. One incident summed up his season: a brilliant interception to foil a potential Carlisle breakaway, following which he passed the ball straight to an opponent.
Ismail 6. A handful of decent runs and crosses, but did not really scream ‘pick me!’
Simpson 7. Almost scored with his first touch and was unlucky later to be denied by a defender on the goal line.
Match Summary
It was an afternoon of frustration for the U’s as they failed to defeat Carlisle’s team of thugs, cheats and time-wasters despite the latter’s two deserved red cards which could have been more. United’s inability to create and convert chances despite enjoying plenty of possession demonstrated why they are not good enough to make the playoffs this season.
Man of the Match
Max Clark. Always industrious and in the thick of the action whether playing centrally, wide or at left-back.
Ref Watch
Toner 6. His two red cards could have been three or four and he should have clamped down much earlier on Carlisle’s playacting and timewasting.
Soundtrack of the Day
Laura Gibson “Not Harmless”

Cambridge United 0-0 Oxford United: A curate's Easter egg

Andrew Bennett reporting from the Habbin:

This Easter has been a stranger one than most. The four-day weekend has lost an hour along the way, the League programme has been set aside in favour of internationals, and Mr Bean has turned into Maigret. Some of it has been predictable (the dismal weather, chocolate-induced indigestion, stupid game shows on Saturday night, Histon losing), some of it less so (England winning excitingly in Germany, the Twenty20 cricket team being quite good, the Light Blues victorious in the Boat Race, Posh not losing), but our beloved U’s have come out of it in much the same position as when they entered it: on the fringes of the playoffs, in plain view but tantalisingly out of reach, bobbing up and down on a bungee rope that is just too short for contact.

It was something of a boon publicity-wise for Oxford United to visit the Abbey a day after the cities’ students had gained battle on the choppy dirty-grey waters of the Thames, although both sets of supporters know that there is no such rivalry between the respective football clubs, and a healthy crowd of 6,108 gathered as the morning’s clouds began to disperse, yielding reluctantly to a watery early-spring sunshine as they turned to cotton wool in a backdrop of blue.

Oxford have enjoyed a fine season so far and arrived comfortably ensconced in second place behind runaway leaders Northampton Town, backed by 1,328 supporters in the South Stand. Like the hosts their squad was depleted by international call-ups (four to United’s two) plus the absence of John Lundstram, who was dismissed at Stevenage on Good Friday, and their change strip of red and black stripes with red shorts made them resemble Histon, like an attempt to lull their opponents into a false sense of security. Top scorer Kemar Roofe was present, though, equal third most prolific marksman in the division with 17 goals, which made it a little surprising that he sported the number 4 shirt.

United line-up: Norris; Furlong, Legge, Coulson, Haynes; Clark, Dunne; Williamson, Berry, Dunk; Spencer. On the bench: Beasant, Omozusi, Roberts, Horne, Ismail, Simpson.

Shaun Derry made one change from Friday’s defeat at Bristol Rovers, awarding Hull City loanee Max Clark his first start in place of Zeli Ismail, and he accompanied James Dunne in a holding role within the manager’s favoured 4-2-3-1 formation. Elliot Omozusi was sufficiently recovered from illness to boost the substitutes’ ranks to six.

After a wild night the wind was still as blustery as a Donald Trump speech and straight from the kick-off Chris Maguire essayed a cheeky shot from the centre circle which rolled apologetically wide. The hosts swiftly began to assert themselves, though, with Luke Berry particularly eager to get forward in support of line leader Jimmy Spencer. The latter had an under-powered header clutched by keeper Benjamin Buchel and Berry was well wide with another header inside the first five minutes, and the U’s skipper had two more efforts at goal before another five minutes were up, while Jordan Bowery broke away to fire wide for the visitors.

Oxford’s game plan seemed to involve utilising the stiff breeze to loft hopeful long balls over the top of the United defence, but time and time again they were overhit or just plain inaccurate and ran out of play or straight to Will Norris. United, for their part, were more patient in their build-ups but were unable to find that killer ball in the final third, but Clark and Dunne looked assured in front of a back four led imperiously by Leon Legge.

Neither keeper was troubled for a good (or not so good) 20 minutes. Dunne stormed through to have a blaster blocked on 27, then Spencer sent a 20-yard curler just wide of the far post two minutes later, following which Ben Williamson’s cross was missed by Spencer and bounced out of play off Berry at the far post before he could react.

Darnell Furlong was brought down 25 yards out by Joe Skarz on 36, costing the Oxford left-back a booking, but Clark’s ensuing free-kick was easily plucked from the air by Buchel. Sam Long then missed the target for the visitors, while in added time Clark’s free-kick found the head of Legge but he could not guide his header on target, thus ending a rather bitty first half in which neither side had produced enough threat to the respective goalkeepers.

Oxford came out for the second half determined to improve on a mediocre first 45 in which they had been second best, and Maguire’s shot from the edge of the box flew narrowly wide within three minutes of the restart. He then drew a foul from Dunne, who became the first U’s man to see yellow, and a little spell of pressure followed from the visitors which resulted in a couple of untidy scrambles in the United box but no really telling attempts on goal.

The U’s rallied and Williamson set up Spencer for a shot on the hour which got rather caught under his feet before he fired over. Maguire was next into the book for an unsubtle shove in the back on Berry, but Ryan Haynes’ free-kick sailed feebly over the bar. Berry then saw an underpowered shot gathered by Buchel and on 65 Danny Hylton replaced Bowery for the visitors.

The much-vaunted Roofe was getting no change out of Legge, who was in commanding form as evidenced when he comfortably blocked the Oxford marksman’s run to gain his side a goal-kick, while Norris also looked fully in control and held Alex MacDonald’s 20-yard shot on 68 minutes.

Three minutes later Ismail replaced a rather out-of-sorts Williamson and soon made an impression with some mazy runs and tantalising crosses, while Robbie Simpson came on for Clark with a quarter of an hour to go to boost the hosts’ attacking options. George Waring then replaced Maguire for the visitors, and Harrison Dunk broke away promisingly only to try to be too clever with his footwork and found himself dispossessed.

With ten minutes to go there were shouts for a penalty at both ends in the space of a minute. Berry made a timely interception as he bustled into the box but seemed to be hauled down, to no interest from the referee,
then up the other end Hylton tumbled under Legge’s challenge to howls of outrage from the travelling supporters, who had been obsessively shouting for handball every time an Oxford player’s shot went near a United defender.
Spencer then had a powerful shot blocked (handball!) before he was involved in an incident with Jake Wright at a throw-in midway into the Oxford half in front of the main stand; Wright made to take the throw, then threw his arm at Spencer’s face. A Yeovil man was sent off for a similar offence at the Abbey two weeks ago, but after consultation with the better-placed linesman, ref Haywood awarded only a yellow card. Given that violent conduct is a red card offence, one has to ask exactly what infringement Wright was booked for.

Both teams had thrown everything they could at each other during the second half, but neither could produce that moment of quality sufficient to break the deadlock, and at the final whistle players from both sides lay prone and exhausted on the sunlit turf. Oxford had not really shown how they had come to be so well placed in the league, presumably at least partly due to their weakened squad, while the U’s had demonstrated why they will fall short in their playoff quest, producing little to truly trouble the visiting keeper for all their honest endeavour. And the jury is surely still out on this 4-2-3-1 formation, which leaves Spencer isolated and wastes Williamson wide to the detriment of the team as a whole. The seeds of a decent team are there, but they need another season to germinate when their injured players will be fit again and the dead wood in the squad replaced. Easter is a good time for rising from the dead, but mid-table safety will do for now. The planning for next season should already be underway.

Statto Corner
Today saw the first goalless draw at the Abbey Stadium this season. There were two last term, against Shrewsbury and AFC Wimbledon, plus a certain FA Cup game against Manchester United. The U’s have recorded three nil-nils away from home this season, at Barnet, Hartlepool and Luton.

Today’s attendance of 6,108 was the third best at the Abbey this term, beaten only by 6,607 against Portsmouth and 6,298 versus Luton Town. The highest away crowds have been 15,425 at Portsmouth, 10,262 at Bristol Rovers and 9,227 at Luton.

This afternoon’s attendance is also the second best ever for a game against Oxford United at the Abbey. The best remains 6,496 on 30th November 1991 when the U’s were top of Division Two (now The Championship); the game finished 1-1, Dion Dublin putting the hosts in front early in the second half before Lee Nogan equalised for Oxford. The teams were:
CUFC: Vaughan, Fensome, Kimble, Dennis, Heathcote, Chapple, Cheetham, Bailie, Dublin, Taylor (Philpott), Wilkins
OUFC: Keeley, Robinson, Smart, Lewis, Foster, Melville, Magilton, Wanless, Aylott (Durnin), Nogan, Simpson
United have lost only twice in 16 league games at home to Oxford since the clubs first met in the Southern League in 1961-62, winning eight times and drawing six. Their only defeats were in 2006-07 (0-3) and 1994-95 (1-2). Their away record is the exact reverse, with 2 wins, 6 draws and 8 defeats.

Max Clark is the fourth man with that surname to turn out for the U’s in a league match. The first was David, a striker who made three appearances during 1955-56, then came Steve, a defender who started 63 league games plus three as sub between 1983 and 1986. Thirdly came Paul, Tommy Taylor’s assistant, who played twice at centre-back during 1995-96 at the age of thirty-six.

Clark is only the second Max to play for United, following Max Porter, who made three Conference starts plus five as sub during 2005-06. He is also the fifth man to wear the number 12 shirt for the U’s this season, after Jacob Blyth, Alie Sesay, Terry Kennedy and Lewis Page. This is a club record for one shirt in one season, beating United’s four number 23s during 2004-05 and four number 26s during 2006-07.

The other number 12s for United before this season have been: Michael Kyd, Tom Cowan, Daniel Chillingworth, Igor Latte-Yedo, Ryan Lockett, Jon Brady, Josh Simpson, Leo Fortune-West, Jack Jeffery, Josh Coulson, Rory McAuley and Matteo Lanzoni.

Player Ratings
Norris 8. Always looked assured and in control.
Furlong 7. Put in a competent shift.
Legge 9. Simply colossal.
Coulson 7. Solid and reliable.
Haynes 8. Growing in confidence with every game.
Clark 7. Busy, energetic and can only improve with experience.
Dunne 7. Quietly dependable.
Williamson 6. Willing runner but is not best used in a wide role and looked rather lost at times.
Berry 8. Always positive and first to get forward in support of Spencer.
Dunk 7. Ran himself into the ground as usual.
Spencer 7. Decent job up front, although like his colleagues, needs to be more ruthless in front of goal.
Ismail 6. Some good work on the right flank.
Simpson 6. Struggled to make an impact.

Match Summary
United gave their all in a deserved draw with high-flying Oxford, although both teams lacked quality in the final third and the game rarely looked like being anything but a goalless draw. Plenty to enjoy, but plenty of room for improvement, too.

Man of the Match
Leon Legge. None of the Oxford players could find any way to get past the big man, who resembled an indulgent but stern adult playing against small children at times.

Ref Watch
Haywood 5. Awarded far too many soft free-kicks and ducked the big decisions.
Soundtrack of the Day
Cassius featuring Cat Power and Mike D “Action”

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Further to Andrew B's ever-popular & unique tell-it-as-it-is U's match reports, don't forget that 'Coconuts' has started to archive these little gems - the 2002/2003 season will be added soon!
Vicky observed this week:

'Awesome report. This is the first report I have read since joining group and it was great. Might sound a bit naff but I could almost imagine watching it being played in front of me! Weird but blooming brilliant writing!'

We tend to agree! 'Enjoy' reliving 2002 here:
http://100yearsofcoconuts.co.uk/andrews-match-reports-2002

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Cambridge United 3-0 Yeovil Town: Watching from the wings
Your eagerly anticipated Andrew Bennett match report ...
“What a player is Crane!” (1949)

Every football club has its legends, but not many have one who lived near its ground for 87 of his 90 years, played in seven different positions in five different leagues, made his first team debut at the age of 15 and stayed at the club for 18 years while holding down a day job at Marshall’s, leaving only to fight for his country during the Second World War as a teenager, scored 42 goals in 37 games during his most prolific season, scored the club’s first ever goal in the Southern League, and turned down lucrative moves to Peterborough and Ipswich out of loyalty to the club he loved.

Cambridge United was privileged to have Russell Crane as just such a legend, and after a career in which he amassed 186 goals in 502 matches between 1941 and 1959, his recent passing was marked today by a moving tribute before kick-off as a minute’s applause was held, accompanied by the song which marked so many of those goals: “I’ve Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts.” The Abbey will never see his like again.

“Time after time he left the back standing by clever football, and his centres were always well placed.” (1943)
Russell’s last season at the club coincided with the first in which they met Yeovil Town, in the Southern League of 1958-59, although he did not play against the Glovers that term. Now the clubs once again find themselves at the same level of football for the first time in 11 years. Yeovil made a dreadful start to the season but have hauled themselves out of trouble under new boss Darren Way and had lost just one of their last 11 games, having won their last four all by the margin of one goal to nil.

Their squad today included two former U’s strikers on the bench, Ryan Bird and Shaun Jeffers, who were joined amongst the substitutes by most recent signing Leroy Lita. A creditable away following of 265 followed the men in green from deepest darkest Somerset, which is a hell of a journey on a tractor.

United line-up: Norris; Furlong, Legge, Coulson, Haynes; Ledson, Dunne; Ismail, Berry, Dunk; Williamson
On the bench: Beasant, Omozusi, Roberts, O’Neill, Horne, Simpson, Spencer

The match got off to a sensational start with United taking the lead inside four minutes. The architect of the goal was Josh Coulson, who picked up possession in his own half then strode, Beckenbauer-like, past a plethora of green and white striped shirts before laying it off to Harrison Dunk. Coulson continued his run into the penalty area and Dunk found him with a low cross, Josh flicked on, and there was Ben Williamson to bury it into the net from ten yards. 1-0.

United’s perfect start became even better six minutes later. Referee Swabey awarded a free-kick to the U’s near halfway, Everton loanee Liam Walsh became rather overexcited and James Dunne tried to calm him down, only to receive a push in the face, right in front of the man in black. He had no choice but to send Walsh off, as foolish a red card as you could wish to see. Daft ha’porth.

The scene looked set for a siege on the visitors’ goal, but United’s response was rather more measured as they declined to go gung-ho and instead concentrated on retaining possession and letting the ball do the work. Wide men Dunk and Zeli Ismail looked the most threatening, both regularly making positive forward runs and whipping crosses into the box, but the team lacked a target man to take advantage of such balls with Williamson roaming too much away from the middle and Luke Berry not at his best in support, while Dunne and Ryan Ledson looked comfortable in the holding positions but offered little in an attacking sense.

Yeovil, meanwhile, responded gamely, their heads not dropping, but their forays into the home box were few and far between and Will Norris remained as unemployed as the unfortunates who have just had their disability benefits cut (writes Iain Duncan Smith, the Voice of the Underdog – or is that Joe Pasquale?).

“The highlight was a brilliant individual goal from Crane, who received the ball in his own half before beating man after man and finishing in style.” (1948)
Just before the half hour the visitors picked up two bookings in two minutes, Marc Laird fouling Darnell Furlong and Ben Tozer bringing down Dunne, and following the latter, Ismail’s 20-yard free-kick was well saved by keeper Artur Krysiak. For the most part, though, the hosts’ build-up play did not correspond to much of a threat in the final third, Dunne well wide of the target with a shot on 36 and Ledson nodding into Krysiak’s arms seven minutes later.
The U’s finally added to their tally, though, in added time. Yeovil lost possession midway into their own half, Ismail fed Dunk and he made a characteristic run to the byline and crossed low into the Corridor of Uncertainty; Krysiak got a flailing touch but could not stop it running across the box to the foxy Williamson, who prodded home from close range at the far post. 2-0.

“His marksmanship and working of the ball bore the hallmark of class and the opposing defence never knew what he was going to do next.” (1949)

Yeovil decided to go for broke after the break and introduced Ryan Bird for Kevin Dawson, but it could have been three-nil within two minutes of the restart when another fine run from Dunk culminated in a cross which seemed perfect to set up Williamson for his hat-trick, but the merest touch from a defender just took it away from him as he swung his boot.

Dunne was then booked for a silly pull-back on Nathan Smith and Yeovil enjoyed a decent spell of possession. Harry Cornick found Norris’ gloves with a 30-yarder, then Bournemouth loanee Brandon Goodship chipped onto the roof of the net. Up the other end Dunk crossed for Williamson to head into Krysiak’s arms and just before the hour Ryan Dickson was next into the book for a foul on Dunne.

“His footwork baffled the opposing defence and his shooting was beautifully timed.” (1949)
Bird then almost darted through the middle but was eventually crowded out, Coulson was harshly carded for a challenge in which he appeared to have won the ball, and Dunne was replaced by Jimmy Spencer as United changed to a 4-4-2 formation. Now the hosts were in the ascendant again as Berry had a shot blocked on 66, and Cornick was withdrawn in favour of Jack Compton for the visitors. Ismail had a left-footed thunderbolt well tipped over on 74 as it headed for the top corner, then Williamson found the net from yet another Dunk cross but was ruled narrowly offside. Ryan Haynes, enjoying freedom to forage forward, made one tremendous individual run into the heart of the penalty area only to be crowded out at the last moment.

“United secured a 3-3 draw thanks to Russell Crane, who scored two long-range thunderbolts, including a forty-yard free-kick, and made the third for Hipkin.” (1950)
Leroy Lita came on for Goodship with a quarter of an hour to go, and Compton drew a comfortable save from Norris with a shot from the edge of the box, while on 81 Furlong made a run into the area but was booked for diving when he tumbled under Smith’s challenge by a referee who was not especially well placed to see. Ismail then crossed to the far post where Spencer tried to improvise a volley but fired over from a narrow angle.
United now looked reasonably comfortable, but even at this late stage a Yeovil goal would have created a few collywobbles. Those were dispelled three minutes from time when Dunk got down the left once again and crossed to the far post; Spencer’s header was well parried by Krysiak, but it went straight back to the big striker and he slid it straight back past the keeper and into the far corner from an acute angle. 3-0.

“The match was so one-sided that when Crane made it 4-0 before half-time, he went up to the Symington’s goalkeeper to shake his hand in commiseration.” (1951)
There was still time for Norris to save acrobatically from a Compton long-ranger and to block a Darren Ward header from a corner, then it was all over and, perhaps uniquely but extremely fittingly, “Coconuts” boomed out over Barnwell for the second time that afternoon.

United’s victory had been obtained professionally rather than spectacularly, but it keeps them within touching distance of those tantalising playoff places, which continue to tease us with a swish of their swinging skirts. Russell would have approved of the team’s cool finishing and exciting, speedy wing play; let us hope the team does him proud for the rest of the season.

“At the final whistle United’s ecstatic fans stormed the pitch and chaired Crane off to a rousing chorus of “I’ve Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts.” (1952)

Statto Corner
This season has seen United take their first ever home or away points from Yeovil in the Football League, having won 3-2 at Huish Park in October. The clubs had only met in the League in two previous seasons before this one and Yeovil won all four matches, 2-1 at home and 5-3 away in 2004-05 and 4-1 home and away in 2003-04; they also won 1-0 at the Abbey in the FA Cup during 1987-88.

The clubs also competed together for ten seasons in the Southern League in the 1950s and 1960s. United won four, drew three and lost three of their home games, but won only once away, losing all the other nine matches.
Liam Walsh’s red card today was the first sending-off in a United game this season since 17th October last year, when Northampton’s Lawson D’Ath was dismissed in the Cobblers’ 2-1 defeat at the Abbey. This season’s totals so far are three for U’s players (Dunk, Dunn, Roberts) and four for the opposition. Walsh is the first player ever to be sent off in a United/Yeovil match.

Jimmy Spencer is the fourth United player to score in two consecutive League games this season, after Barry Corr, Ben Williamson and Luke Berry.

Williamson has scored 9 goals in 19 games for United this season, making it his most prolific season ever in the Football League. Last term he scored 6 League goals for Port Vale, and in previous seasons he scored five, eight and three times respectively. He also scored three times in the League Cup and once in the FA Cup last season, so he needs one more to equal his all-competitions season’s record.

Jimmy Spencer has notched four times this season. He only scored once last season for Notts County, and during 2013-14 he claimed five goals for County and one on loan to Scunthorpe while on the books of Huddersfield.

Ryan Bird scored nine goals in 12 starts plus one game as sub for United in all competitions while on loan from Portsmouth during 2013-14, then scored six times in 11 starts plus 17 as sub after he signed permanently the following term before his release. Shaun Jeffers made just two substitute appearances for the U’s while on loan from Coventry during the 2010-11 season.

Will Norris has kept four clean sheets in 12 League matches this season, equalling the season’s total of Chris Dunn, who played in 11 games (he was sent off after 53 minutes at Wycombe). Norris has conceded 10 goals, Dunn conceded fourteen. Sam Beasant has kept just two clean sheets in 14 starts plus one as sub, and let in 24 goals.

“Crane grabbed the winner when he outpaced the defence to a through ball, clipped it over the keeper’s head as he advanced, beat full-back Diver to the ball and passed it into the empty net.” (1952)

Player Ratings
Norris 8. Always looked safe and in control.
Furlong 8. Lively and alert.
Legge 8. Colossal as ever.
Coulson 9. Solid and at times inspired.
Haynes 9. Exemplary performance.
Ismail 8. Unfailingly positive and dangerous.
Ledson 7. Competent effort.
Berry 7. OK although nowhere near his best.
Dunne 7. Neat and tidy.
Dunk 8. Constant source of surging runs and decent crosses and created two goals.
Williamson 8. Not really suited to a lone striker role in the current formation, but took his goals well.
Spencer 7. Did not make as much impact as one might have hoped for, good finish for his goal.
“Saward jinked his way as far as the penalty spot, a quick back-heel and Crane was there to drive first time into the net. It was the type of goal the City wouldn’t get if they played until they had beards down their knees.” (1958)

Match Summary
An early dismissal for Yeovil and an even earlier goal for United made for a reasonably comfortable afternoon for the U’s, and although they were not as ruthless or clinical as one might have hoped, it was a professional performance with the desired result. At this stage of the season, that is all that counts.

Man of the Match
Ryan Haynes. Proof positive that young loan players need a good run of games to settle into the side, Ryan really blossomed today with solid, decisive defending and a helping of good forward marauding to boot.

Ref Watch
Swabey 5. No arguments with the red card which was right under his nose, but flung around far too many unnecessary yellow ones.

Soundtrack of the Day
Last Shadow Puppets “Everything You’ve Come To Expect”
​
“If Abbey United are fortunate enough to win the East Anglian Cup this season, the name of Russell Crane should be engraved upon it in gilt letters. For it was the fighting spirit of this human dynamo of an inside-forward when Abbey were a goal down after two minutes which largely inspired his team to a one-goal victory. Revealing all the menace of an angry wasp, Crane buzzed and harassed his way among the visiting defenders in a tireless pattern which did much to put a top-gear on the winning trail by half-time.” (1949)

Portsmouth 2-1 Cambridge United: The ground that time forgot
A rare treat - an AB away match report. Just a shame the match wasn't ...

Every football supporter has their Room 101, where they encounter “the worst thing in the world.” When it comes to visiting grounds, United supporters are spoilt for choice, from the hostile, unpleasant discomfort of Luton, to the theatre of unhappy memories that is Stevenage, the mundanity of Crawley, the desolation of Morecambe, and the sheer non-League shabbiness of Dagenham and Accrington Stanley. But there can surely be no venue more nightmarish for U’s followers than Portsmouth’s Fratton Park, where after an initial draw back in the 1970s, their team has now lost seven times in a row.

That is something of a shame, as there is no denying that it is an atmospheric, defiantly old-school ground of a sort which is gradually dying out, although it is undoubtedly tatty around the edges and does not seem to have changed much since yours truly last visited it back in November 1992, although the away end now has a roof at least. On that day United surrendered dismally, 3-0, in front of a crowd of just 8,956. Fast forward over 23 years (where did THAT go?) and there it continues to stand, tucked away behind houses in a fairly down-at-heel part of the town, that mock Tudor façade still there, dwarfed by the looming stands behind.

The approach to the away end was scruffy in the extreme, past a long hoarding of dreadful graffiti, then a steep climb to the back of an aged stand consisting of plastic seats bolted onto an old terrace, half of which had been cordoned off, empty. Fratton Park only possesses one cantilever stand, the substantial home end, while the crumbling stands on either side consist of faded blue seats in two tiers, the front tiers also previously terraces. The main stand is an Archibald Leitch original, something of a collectors’ item although in far from mint condition. Half of the floodlights did not seem to work either, one side of the ground illuminated instead by spotlights affixed to the side stand from which five flags flew vigorously. It was difficult to believe that this venerable but exhausted-looking place was the venue for Premier League football just six years ago before the club was felled by stunning financial incompetence.

The club’s continued ability to attract attendances in excess of 15,000 at League Two level, with the subsequent expectation that those figures bring, has made them favourites for promotion for the past two seasons, but big crowds do not a good team make, and since Harry Redknapp’s departure in 2008, they have burned their way through nine managers who have averaged around 30 matches each before being impatiently discarded. The abrasive Paul Cook is the present incumbent, but before today’s match a poor recent run had seen them drop outside the playoff places. He made four changes from the side which lost at Barnet in midweek, including a first start for four months for striker Conor Chaplin.

United line-up: Norris; Furlong, Legge, Coulson, Haynes; Berry, Ledson, O’Neill; Williamson, Spencer, Dunk
On the bench: Beasant, Omozusi, Roberts, Keane, Donaldson, Simpson

The only change in United’s starting XI was the introduction of Shane O’Neill, the Irish-American on loan from Cyprus, for his debut in place of James Dunne, unable to play due to a gentleman’s arrangement between the clubs following his move to the Abbey in January. Keith Keane returned from his loan spell at Stevenage, but the U’s still could not muster a full complement of seven substitutes.

It was dry but chilly day with a freezing cold wind setting those flags a-flutter. Jimmy Spencer had the first shot of the match inside two minutes, clutched by keeper Ryan Fulton, then Will Norris comfortably saved a Marc McNulty drive, before being unsubtly shoved to the ground by the ever-unpleasant Christian Burgess, but referee Langford showed no interest. United adopted a cautious approach, offering the hosts almost too much respect, with their nominal 4-3-3 formation more usually resembling a 4-5-1 with Ben Williamson and Harrison Dunk funnelling back down the flanks, leaving Spencer somewhat isolated up front.

Pompey’s main tactic was to hook the ball over the top for the speedy Chaplin to chase, and he fired a shot high and wide on 8, but the hosts did not look especially confident and the match soon settled into a rather dreary war of attrition between two frankly very ordinary sides. The United fans were in fine, vociferous form and many defied all the efforts of the stewards to get them to sit down, hardly surprisingly as the home supporters on their feet in the adjoining stand were being given no such instructions.

A little bored by the meagre fare on display, the U’s supporters enjoyed some sport with an amply-girthed home supporter – Billy Banter, if you will – which helped to pass the time in reasonably good-humoured fashion. Leon Legge and Darnell Furlong were the pick of the United defence, while O’Neill stuck to his task in a solid debut, but there was precious little creativity on display from either side, and goalmouth action was about as plentiful as reasoned debate in the US Republican hustings.

The ‘action’ was not helped by the incessant whistling of the referee and he carded Spencer a little harshly on 29 for a foul on Burgess, swiftly followed into the book by the hosts’ Ben Davies for a clumsy challenge on Dunk. Legge had a header saved from the ensuing free-kick, and a good run from Williamson culminated in a ball across the face of the goal which just evaded Luke Berry, but a dreary half looked like petering out goallessly until four minutes from the whistle when O’Neill was penalised for bringing down McNulty.

Michael Doyle took the free-kick but was pulled back by Langford, who seemed to take an inordinate amount of time to do anything. When it was finally (re)taken United switched off for a second, Kai Naismith flicked it into the path of McNulty, and he strode unchallenged through the defence down the left channel before thundering a shot past the exposed Norris and in off the underside of the bar. 1-0.

Spencer then got himself involved in some physical silliness with Enda Stevens, possibly involving one of his elbows, and he was given a final talking-to by the man in black which seemed to last about five minutes. The only remarkable thing about this tedious 45 minutes of ‘football’ was that the ref only added one extra, when he had wasted about ten himself.

Spencer was withdrawn for his own good for part two, replaced by Ryan Donaldson with Williamson moving up front, and United, sent out early by Shaun Derry, seemed to have been told in no uncertain times to up the tempo and take the game to the hosts. The first shot of the half went to Pompey’s Kyle Bennett, which he drove wide, and after some reasonably promising forward moves with some decent crosses from Dunk, Robbie Simpson replaced O’Neill on 56 and the team switched to a conventional 4-4-2.

This made a formerly moribund contest into something much more open, but it was to United’s disadvantage as they fell further behind on 62. Berry lost out to Doyle in midfield with a rather feeble challenge, he found Bennett and with no challenge forthcoming he blasted a shot for the top corner from 25 yards. Norris dived to his right and produced a superb fingertip save, tipping the ball onto the bar, but when the ball dropped from the sky it bounced off a Portsmouth player’s shoulder and fell nicely for Adam Webster, who pounced to sidefoot home from close range as Norris struggled to recover his ground. 2-0.

United’s complete failure to trouble Fulton in the home goal suggested an uphill battle as the ref continued to punish the men in black and amber for all manner of minor infringements, booking Berry on 70 for a challenge on Danny Hollands. Naismith was then forced off, to be replaced by Gareth Evans, but United’s attempts at attack were hit-and-hope, harum-scarum affairs consisting of hopeful balls punted up towards the strikers which inevitably foundered on the rocks of the hosts’ back four, with Dunk starved of anything to feed on down the left and Donaldson disappointingly ineffective on the right.

As the contest became increasingly fractious, Legge was next into the book for a foul on Bennett on 79, and United’s best defender was forced off by injury with six minutes to go to be replaced by Mark Roberts. By now Pompey were content to see the game out and Chaplin was booked for timewasting before being replaced by Matt Clarke.

Then in the last minute of normal time the U’s pulled one back with the first attempt on goal of their entire underachieving half; Dunk curled a corner into the box, Roberts powered a header towards the bottom corner, and Berry lunged in on the line to make sure it went in. 2-1.

Cue a frantic and unlikely finish entirely out of keeping with the turgid preceding 90 minutes. The hosts tried to waste as much time as possible, Ben Tollitt coming on for Bennett, and McNulty was indeed booked for timewasting, but United’s sheer lack of quality was their undoing as they failed to produce any more attempts on goal, their last break messed up by Simpson who waited too long to lay it wide to Dunk then overhit it anyway to sum up his team’s slipshod performance to a tee.
Let no-one think that this grandstand finish meant that United were in any way unlucky to lose. Their overall performance had been over-cautious in the first half and just not good enough in the second, barely troubling the keeper all match, and the most frustrating aspect of the whole afternoon was that a distinctly average Portsmouth side had been allowed to win the match with such relative comfort. United must improve dramatically in every single department of the team (barring goalkeeper) if they are to have any pretensions of making a playoff challenge, but my distinct impression is that mid-tale mediocrity would be a blessing in disguise because this half-formed, half-arsed team is in no way ready for higher grade football. It will take a close season of rebuilding for Derry to improve on the promising foundations he has been laying so far. And who knows, next season they might lay that Fratton Park hoodoo at long last…

Statto Corner
United’s dreadful record at Fratton Park continues. After drawing 2-2 there in their first ever visit on 27th December 1977, thanks to two Alan Biley goals, they have lost all seven of their subsequent games there, five in the League and two in the League Cup.

United’s home record against Pompey is scarcely better, consisting of one win, two draws and five defeats. That victory came in the clubs’ first meeting at the Abbey, 1-0 on 25th March 1978, with Steve Fallon grabbing the goal. The teams in United’s Division Three promotion-winning season were:
U’s: Webster; Howard, Stringer, Fallon, Buckley; Streete, Spriggs, Watson; Sweetzer (Murray), Morgan, Biley
Pompey: Middleton, Wilson, Taylor, Ellis, Foster, Denyer, Pullar, Lathan, Garwood, Piper, McCaffrey (Barnard)

Today’s attendance of 15,425 is the 47th best ever for a match involving Cambridge United. It is also the fifth best for a regular season U’s game in the fourth tier of English football, beaten only by:
17,059 – Southend 2-1 U’s, 21/4/72 (Division 4)
16,671 – Portsmouth 2-1 U’s, 16/8/14 (League 2)
15,722 – Notts County 4-1 U’s, 26/12/70 (Division 4)
15,670 – Hull City 1-1 U’s, 22/2/03 (Division 3)

Shane O’Neill is the third man bearing that surname to play league football for United, after stylish midfielder Alan (1965-66 to 1967-68) and tigerish midfield man Tommy (1976-77 to 1982-83). In addition, Martin O’Neill turned out for the U’s as a guest in Steve Fallon and Steve Spriggs’ testimonial against Manchester United in July 1985 with a view to becoming the club’s player/assistant manager, but a broken leg sustained in that game ended any prospect of that.

Shane O’Neill is the 15th U’s player to be allocated squad number 17. The previous incumbents were: Jamie Cassidy, Steve Slade, Richard Logan, Richard Prokas, Franco Nacca, Tes Bramble, Ash Fuller, Stacy Coldicott, Rob Wolleaston, Gavin Hoyte, Simon Ainge, Simon Russell, Sam Ives and Liam Hughes.

Player Ratings
Norris 7. Could not be faulted for either goal and his save from Bennett before the second score was simply sensational.
Furlong 7. Athletic and alert.
Legge 7. United’s rock again.
Coulson 6. A fairly average afternoon.
Haynes 5. Struggled badly against the pace of Bennett.
Berry 6. Not a vintage performance.
Ledson 6. Struggled to have any influence.
O’Neill 6. Solid enough debut.
Williamson 6. Spent most of the first tackling back and made little impression when he switched to leading the line.
Spencer 5. Too much fighting and not enough playing.
Dunk 6. Fairly anonymous afternoon, thanks partly to a lack of supply from his colleagues.


Donaldson 5. Brought on to take the game to Portsmouth; failed to do so.
Simpson 6. Put himself about with his usual commitment.
Roberts 6. Spent as much of his short time on the pitch up front as in defence and made the team’s goal with a fine header.
Match Summary
A timid United showed Portsmouth too much respect in the first half, and when required to take the game to a distinctly average home side after the break, failed to produce any forward play of any quality until it was too late. A disappointing missed opportunity.

Man of the Match
Leon Legge. Colossal once again.
​
Ref Watch
Langford 4. Awarded far too many unnecessary free-kicks and was far too easily influenced by the home crowd, as evidenced when Ledson placed the ball legally to take a corner but was ordered to move it by the referee, who was 40 yards away and could not possibly have been able to tell, because of the hysterical reaction of the Pompeyites.

Soundtrack of the Day
Lush “Out Of Control”

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Cambridge United 1-1 Hartlepool United: Always crashing in the same car

See if you agree with Andrew B's version of yesterday's events:

Big bottom, swing, big bottom, swing-a-ling-a
How much is the fish? How much is the fish?
How much is the chips? Does the fish have chips?
I don’t want a drink but I’ll go to the bar
I’d go for a walk but I ain’t got a car
I like when it’s different, but it’s just not the same
The weather is perfect except for the rain
The last few weeks have seen the world lose a number of legends from the world of music: Bowie, of course, Lemmy, Glenn Frey, Dale Griffin from Mott The Hoople, Otis Clay, Stevie Wright from the Easybeats, er, Guru Josh… and Mick Lynch, frontman of shambling Irish kooks Stump, whose “Buffalo” is quoted above and has to be heard to be believed. By way of tribute, this report includes the titles of 70 Stump songs, sorry, David Bowie songs*, one of my and many others’ childhood heroes who did not always get it right and was not always in fashion but was never afraid to move on and made music to fill your heart with joy. We never thought he would slip away in such style, assumed he would never get old, but he left us at the height of his fame after a life that was a brilliant adventure for all of us.

I hope you’re keeping up, that’s 11 already.

Back at the Abbey, it seems Shaun Derry’s December Manager of the Month award has made him a candidate for January’s Hangover of the Month, the mythical Curse having seen his team fail to win since his end-of-year accolade. His squad churn is still ongoing and he has not been afraid to bomb out players that have not impressed him; it is also apparent that many more changes are in the pipeline after his not-so-subtle hints about squad members who are now out of favour who should be seeking a new career in a new town. His try some, buy some approach has resulted in a team with a ‘work in progress’ look about it, and it is to be hoped that his limited managerial experience will not count against him; it’s no game for absolute beginners.

Today’s opponents, Hartlepool, managed to survive last season, one place above the quicksand of the relegation places thanks in part to the goals of United loanee Ryan Bird, but have not kicked on much this term, seven wins out of 23 seeing them bumping along in 21st place. They were also without a win in their previous six matches.
United line-up: Norris; Furlong, Legge, Roberts, Page; Ledson, Dunne, Berry, Simpson; Williamson, Ahearne-Grant
On the bench: Beasant, Omozusi, Coulson, Horne, Donaldson, Dunk, Corr

Shaun Derry made one change from the team that started at Luton last week, Karlan Ahearne-Grant given his first start in place of Barry Corr, who made up a strong subs’ line-up alongside Harrison Dunk and Ryan Donaldson, all apparently there for fitness reasons. The manager persisted with his experimental diamond midfield, with Ryan Ledson in front of the back four and Robbie Simpson supporting the front two, while youngster Ryan Horne made the bench ahead of the likes of Conor Newton, Liam Hughes, Jordan Slew and Danny Carr. One suspects reality will be biting hard for some of them before the end of January.

It was exactly one year since the U’s were dancing with the big boys, Manchester United’s visit to the Abbey heralding a financial bonanza that should lead to a better future for the club, but also prefaced a dramatic slump in form that produced the first sense of doubt in the formerly untouchable Richard Money; then this season he became a dead man walking after taking it on a fantastic voyage over which he ultimately had no control. Of the team which started against the once-mighty Red Devils, not one started today, and only five (Dunn, Taylor, Coulson, Donaldson, Hughes) are still at the club at all.
On a mild day with sunshine breaking through, the first chance of the day fell to Ahearne-Grant but he shot wide. After such wishful beginnings Hartlepool put the hosts under pressure for a sustained period, harrying and closing United down as the men in amber and black struggled to come to terms with their game plan, Ledson in particular having difficulty in protecting the back four as the visitors swarmed forward.

Hartlepool should have been in front on 5 minutes. Jake Carroll swung a corner in from the right, Bristol Rovers loanee Ellis Harrison shot through a crowded box and saw his effort ricochet off the inside of the far post, and how the ball stayed out in the ensuing melee is one of the mysteries of the day, Will Norris eventually falling gratefully on it. Harrison had another shot blocked three minutes later (I wonder who has taken his place at Rovers?), then Norris produced a magnificent double save to palm away first Jordan Richards’ 20-yarder, then Rhys Oates’ angled close-range follow-up. Top goalkeeping.
Mark Roberts, exposed for pace again, was booked on the quarter hour for bringing down Harrison, and Richards’ ensuing free-kick was tipped over from under his bar by Norris, and one wondered what in the world United were going to do to get into a so-far one-sided contest. Gradually, though, the U’s began to get the visitors’ measure, although their lack of width meant that most balls to the strikers were hopeful diagonal ones humped in from deep, which were of no great use to Ahearne-Grant and Ben Williamson, who could not manage one shot between them.

Lewis Page began to do a decent job in foraging forward down the left flank and his cross on 19 found Robbie Simpson, whose looping header was clutched by Trevor Carson. For all United’s growing midfield possession, however, the supply line to the forwards was all but non-existent and Carson was not troubled again during an increasingly uneventful first half, save for a few hopeful high bombers which he could cope comfortably with day in, day out. The diamond formation gave the U’s the worst of all worlds: inadequate cover at the back and not enough support going forward.

Pools were forced into a change just after the half hour when Harrison clashed with Page and the loanee came off the worse, forced to withdraw unwashed and somewhat slightly dazed to be replaced by Rakish Bingham. That reduced the visitors’ threat and the rest of the half passed without incident, its only fascination that so many men could run around so much to such little effect. Adam Jackson was booked for a foul on Luke Berry at the death, and that was that for an unsatisfactory first period. It was little wonder that there was a smattering of jeers as the players trotted off, the spectators having been left with precious little by way of conversation piece after that first frantic ten minutes.

Disturbingly, United began the second half in the same desultory manner in which they had started the first, and again star man Norris had to be at his best to keep the scores level. Michael Woods sent Jake Gray bursting through the middle on 47, only for the keeper to hare off his line and block, and the same two men were involved again two minutes later, Norris saving Gray’s closer range effort.

Derry finally accepted the formation’s total failure on 54 as Dunk was allowed to join the gang in place of the anonymous Ahearne-Grant, United switching to more of a 4-4-2 although Berry tended to stay more infield than wide. Watch that man: all of a sudden there was something in the air as Dunk’s positive running boosted both team and crowd alike. James Dunne had a long-range shot stopped, Berry also had an effort blocked and as in the first half the balance of play swung into the Hartlepool half.

On the hour Corr was also sent on to shake it up a bit in place of the industrious Simpson. Dunk was now sending a regular supply of decent balls into the box, getting past his marker on the outside again and again, and Jordan Richards was next into the book on 69 for a cynical foul on Berry as he looked to break forward. Corr drew a comfortable save from Carson with a header that just lacked sufficient power, and in another positive change, Donaldson was introduced in place of the subdued Ledson to supply more crosses from the right as United’s slow burn became gradually hotter.

Almost immediately, though, the heat was turned up by Hartlepool. Roberts’ poor clearance fell straight to Woods, he poked it forward to Gray as he darted between the centre-backs and he slid it under the advancing Norris. 1-0.

It was 21 days since United had last scored a goal, although it felt like about five years (Berry’s 26th-minute strike against Wimbledon on 2nd January), such is the speed of life, but they kept their heads up and gradually increased the pressure on the visitors. Leon Legge had been outstanding in defence but on 76 he almost set up the equaliser, nodding Dunk’s corner into the centre for Roberts to run onto unmarked, but somehow he headed wide from six yards out to groans from the NRE. The pessimists began to think they would have to wait until kingdom come for another goal from their zeroes, sorry, heroes.

Although not fully fit, Corr was still a useful presence in the box but could not get any purchase on his headers, seeing another one clutched by Carson on 80. United stuck at it, though, Darnell Furlong’s excellent low diagonal cross somehow fizzing across the six-yard box the width of a circle from three team-mates. Into the last five minutes, more frantic goalmouth action saw Donaldson have a goalbound shot blocked eight yards out, then Corr fired just wide, but in the last minute of normal time their pressure was rewarded.

Legge was the creator, picking up the ball just inside his own half, and his perceptive long ball saw Corr occupying two defenders to enable Williamson to anticipate the flight of the ball, steal in behind them, control neatly and with his second touch slide it coolly past Carson for the long-awaited equaliser. 1-1.

Pools introduced Dan Jones for Rhys Oates to disrupt the flow of the game, but in truth neither side looked like scoring in the additional four minutes and ultimately a draw was a fair result for two teams which had played reasonably well in spells but failed to deliver consistently over 90 minutes.

It ain’t easy being a football manager, and Derry must be allowed to experiment, make mistakes and eventually build his own squad, which will all take time. That may well mean having to forget about a promotion push this season, depending on whether he can replace the rest of the dead wood in his personnel, but on this evidence he does not have the players to make a diamond formation work, and having also tried 4-2-3-1 unsuccessfully, good old 4-4-2 may be his best bet at this level. He does not appear to be dead against it, but repetition of previous errors will not be tolerated forever, even by the dreamers in the main stand. They may not be privy to what what’s really happening behind the scenes, but an occasional glimpse of hope that we have some golden years ahead will be needed to maintain interest in this season of transition…transmission. So where are we now?

Lay me place and bake me pie
I’m starving for me gravy
Leave my shoes, and door unlocked
I might just slip away
Just for the day, hey

Statto Corner
United have now gone four League games without a win. This is not, however, their worst run this season; they drew three times and lost twice in five matches between 22nd August and 19th September before scraping a 1-0 added time victory over Stevenage. The last game of that run was a goalless draw at Hartlepool.
James Dunne is the second player of that name to turn out for the U’s. Jimmy Dunne was an Irish inside-forward who joined United from Bedford Town at the start of the 1963-64 season, but his stay at the Abbey was limited to 8 Southern League games (1 goal) and 7 matches in various cups (4 goals). His highlight was a hat-trick in an 11-4 thrashing of Crittall Athletic from the Border League in the first round of the East Anglian Cup; the clubs did not meet again until 2011, by which time Crittall had changed their name to Braintree Town.
Karlan Ahearne-Grant comes ninth in the alphabetical list of every Cambridge United/Abbey United player ever. Before him come Zema Abbey (1999-2001), S Ablett (1929-33), Henry Acton (1947-48), Albert “Lofty” Adams (1947-49), Steve Adams (1977-79), David Adekola (1995-96), Charles Ademeno (2006-07) and Brian Adlam (1962-64).
Ahearne-Grant has been allocated squad number 20, while fellow new boy Darnell Furlong has number 25. Both men are the 27th players to be given their respective numbers, making 20 and 25 the numbers with most incumbents since the system was introduced in 1999. They are followed by numbers 23 (26 times), 27 (23 times) and 26 (22 times).
Player Ratings
Norris 9. A possible future legend whose time has at last come; we should only be sorry he was not given his chance earlier.
Furlong 6. Quick and athletic, the rest of his game needs some work.
Legge 8. Once again United’s colossus at the back.
Roberts 5. Slow and error-prone.
Page 7. Settling nicely into the side, good overlapping and combination with Dunk.
Ledson 6. Another under-par performance and looks like he needs a rest. Everton will allow us to drop him, won’t they…?
Dunne 7. Quietly reliable.
Berry 7. Lively and energetic.
Simpson 7. Good, action-packed contribution.
Williamson 7. Flitted in and out of the game but won a point with a splendidly taken goal.
Ahearne-Grant 5. Never really got into the game, although his supply line was not exactly helpful.


Dunk 8. Lifted the whole ground once he came on and was easily the team’s most potent threat. No more “resting” on the bench, please.
Corr 7. Played his part, as ever.
Donaldson 7. Got through some good work on the right.
Match Summary
A disjointed United side struggled with an ill-fitting diamond formation until the introduction of Harrison Dunk and a switch to 4-4-2 brought about the improvement that led to their gaining the point they deserved. Let us hope Derry’s experimentation phase does not last too long.
Man of the Match

Will Norris. Amazing saves in both halves kept United in the match. He’s ready to be a star after all.
Ref Watch
Hill 7. Awarded a few harsh and unnecessary free-kicks, but satisfactory overall.
Soundtrack of the Day
David Bowie “I Can’t Give Everything Away”
*OK, four of them are Tin Machine songs

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Cambridge United 2-1 Barnet: And don't forget the joker
Andrew Bennett re-lives festive fare at the Abbey


If you like to gamble, I tell you I’m your man
You win some, lose some, all the same to me
The pleasure is to play, makes no difference what you say
I don’t share your greed, the only card I need is
The Ace of Spades

The words of the late, great Lemmy on the day of his departure from this world are a good summary of the tenure so far at the Abbey of Shaun Derry, a breath of fresh air with a refreshingly positive attitude who is unafraid to make difficult decisions, even if inevitably he does not get them all right. His urging of his team to keep attacking in the last few minutes of today’s match made for a stark contrast with his predecessor, who would have introduced an extra defender or two and instructed his team to stay back and hang on instead of going for a third goal.

2015 has been a momentous year for Cambridge United, in which their FA Cup run set them up financially for years to come, but they had to part with Richard Money, the man who had taken them so far in his distinguished tenure but had, sad to say, taken them as far as he could. His League record in this calendar year of 10 wins, 12 draws and 17 defeats was not consistent with the club’s avowed target of a playoff place, and his hit-and-miss recruitment, bizarre tactical decisions and overall sulky, negative attitude was taking the club nowhere.

"You can feel there's a buzz around the place and a real unity for probably the first time since I've come back to the club." Robbie Simpson’s words after the Boxing Day win at Dagenham say it all about how Money had lost both the plot and the dressing room and his departure was painful but vital to allow this club to progress further. Enjoy your retirement, Dickie, although if you want to give it another go at Luton, please go ahead. We would be royally entertained…

Today’s visitors, Barnet’s boss, Martin Allen, has something of a younger Money about him – mad as a mongoose, forthright and unpredictable – and his recent record is also similar, rescuing his club from the clammy clutches of the Bananarama Conference and now trying to re-establish them amongst the big boys, although that description scarcely befits the fit-all-their-supporters-in-a-telephone-box likes of Dagenham, Accrington, Stevenage, Crawley, Yeovil or Morecambe. Or, indeed, Barnet.

They were at least keeping their heads above the flotsam and jetsam clogging up the bottom of the League, and could boast a proven goalscoring front pairing of John Akinde and Aaron McLean, with former Abbey favourite Tom Champion tidying up in midfield and twice-former U’s striker Michael Gash on the bench. Their third former United man, Michael Nelson, was absent injured to the disappointment of those who wanted to see how he would cope with the pace and physicality of Ben Williamson and Barry Corr; something akin to a steamroller racing a Bugatti Veyron, one suspects.

United line-up: Beasant; Omozusi, Legge, Roberts, Dunk; Ledson, Newton; Williamson, Simpson, Berry; Corr
On the bench: Dunn, Kennedy, Coulson, Demetriou, L.Hughes, Williams, Slew

Injuries sustained in the last match kept Greg Taylor and Ryan Donaldson out, so their stand-ins at Dagenham, Elliot Omozusi and Robbie Simpson, earned themselves starting spots in a 4-2-3-1 formation with Ryan Ledson and Conor Newton stationed deep and Barry Corr leading the line. A rather thin-looking squad meant a first appearance on the bench for promising 18-year-old midfielder Dylan Williams, who made a good impression in pre-season in the Chris Turner memorial match at Peterborough.

United should have been on the crest of a wave after putting the Daggers to the sword, but it was Barnet, clad in lilac and white hoops like an unwanted Christmas jumper, who took the game by the scruff of the neck, and initially the U’s had no response. There was nothing sophisticated about the visitors’ approach but it was highly effective, chasing and harrying to give United no time on the ball and playing it forward quickly and directly to utilise the pace of Akinde and McLean against the hosts’ less than quicksilver centre-backs. The U’s seemed to have been caught rather by surprise with the result that they could not string any sort of passing move together, were second to most balls and were caught in possession time and again.

The visitors’ first scoring chance came on 10 when Akinde burst through the middle only to tumble theatrically under Sam Beasant’s advancing challenge. He was deservedly booked for diving, a habit for which he has form going back to his Ebbsfleet days in March 2008 when his acrobatics got Danny Potter sent off in United’s 2-1 defeat at Stonebridge Road. Thankfully today’s referee, David Webb, was not so gullible, although the man in black was already proving himself to be something of a laissez-faire type, letting challenges go which many others would have pulled back.

Two minutes later Barnet gained a free-kick 35 yards out and McLean rather optimistically lined up a long-range shot, perhaps mindful of the soft one which Beasant had conceded from a similar distance against Mansfield just before Christmas. There was no such danger this time as it sailed upwards and smacked into the top of the NRE stand.

United forced a corner on 14 and Leon Legge met it with a firm goalward header 12 yards out, only to see it flick off the head of Gavin Hoyte (not the ex-U’s defender) then cannon off the top of the bar. That was a brief respite from Barnet’s pressure, though, as the hosts simply could not get going against the visitors’ energetic onslaught. Andy Yiadom drew a comfortable save from Beasant a minute later, as did Akinde midway through the half, then Yiadom scuffed another opening wide.

McLean came nearest to breaking the deadlock on 24 when he was given time and space to advance on goal and smack a thunderbolt against the bar from 25 yards, Beasant gathering the rebound gratefully. Ledson was then off target for the U’s and Champion missed with a header. Champs only scored once in 101 starts for United, the winner in a 2-1 defeat of Forest Green in September 2013, and he has netted just once for the Bees too, in their FA Cup win over Blackpool last month.

The rest of the half continued in a similar pattern, Newton and Ledson unable to get a grip in midfield and Simpson, Ben Williamson and Luke Berry equally unable to make an impression on their scurrying, high-energy opponents, a team of Road Runners running rings around a collection of bewildered Wile E Coyotes. Where is an Acme Midfield Ballwinner when you need one, eh?

Nonetheless Barnet could create few clearcut scoring chances until the last minute of the first half. One of their weapons, a long throw, cleared everyone at the far post and it fell unexpectedly to Yiadom inside the six-yard box, but he prodded wide as the NRE held its breath. There was still time for some shoddy defending to afford Hoyte a shot at goal, but he could not hit the target, and United were relieved to return to the dressing room level after a sluggish, outplayed first 45 minutes.

Only two United substitutes initially emerged to warm up during the interval, indicating that Derry was giving his charges a thorough talking-to, and the players were eventually sent out for part two a good few minutes ahead of their counterparts. United initially threatened with a Newton up-and-under for Simpson to chase, to which he was narrowly beaten by keeper Ian Lawlor ten yards outside the box, but the match soon settled down to an identical pattern to the first half with no appreciable improvement from the men in black and amber.

McLean was replaced by Gash 10 minutes after the restart, the big-boned target man not an ideal like-for-like replacement for the more fleet-footed former Posh striker. Yiadom saw a shot deflected wide on 58, and two minutes later the visitors’ pressing game finally drew dividends. Newton received the ball wide on the left in the Barnet half but dwelt on it as he looked up for someone to pass to and had it nicked off his toe by Champion, whose perceptive through ball bisected the United centre-backs and sent Akinde away and clear unchallenged. He advanced into the area before coolly slotting it past the exposed Beasant, resisting the pull of gravity this time. 1-0.

Derry recognised that a change was vital to get his misfiring charges back into the game and introduced Mickey Demetriou for the disappointing Newton, switching to 4-4-2 with Williamson and Dunk on the flanks and Simpson joining Corr up front. It should have been 2-0 on 68 when Akinde slipped through again, and as Beasant advanced, his delicate chip appeared to be sailing into the empty net, but as the 549 visiting Bees began to acclaim a goal, it bounced the wrong side of the far post. Had that gone in, it would surely have been curtains for the hosts.

As it was, they responded with the spirited kind of reaction that we are coming to expect from a Derry side. United now had a better shape with square pegs in square holes and on 70 Corr laid it back to Dunk, his curling cross from deep was exquisitely placed into the corridor of uncertainty in front of Lawlor and Berry rampaged through unmarked to bullet his header home, with Simpson right beside him ready to do the same. 1-1.

Relief turned to joyous disbelief less than 80 seconds later when United did it again. This time Demetriou was the creator with a diagonal cross from deep, Williamson went for it with his marker on the edge of the box and as both tumbled to the floor it bounced fortuitously off his back and was diverted perfectly in the path of Corr, who had already spotted the opportunity and took it with ruthless aplomb, sliding his perfect finish low across Lawlor from a narrowing angle and in at the far post. The turnaround was complete and the Abbey exploded with joy: 2-1!

The reaction of most home supporters was ‘How the hell did that happen?!’ but now the U’s were on top, they continued to take the game to their stunned opponents, who had suddenly lost much of the intensity of their play. Gash was booked for handball, his sole contribution to the match, and Sam Muggleton was introduced for Sam Togwell, but it was all United now as the energy and confidence they had lacked so badly for 70 minutes suddenly flooded through them.

On 76 Williamson used his pace to chip and chase past his marker down the right flank and as he cut inside he should have squared it to the unmarked Dunk, who had bust a gut to support him in the box, but he chose to shoot from a narrow angle and had it blocked by Lawlor at his near post. Ledson then fired a shot wide, and in a final fling the Bees introduced 37-year-old Kevin Lisbie in place of Hoyte.

Barnet had blown themselves out, though, and United kept them at bay with some comfort during the last ten minutes; now it was they who were catching the visitors in possession and breaking upfield. One such break in added time saw Simpson bulldoze down the middle but he swept his shot wide of the far post. Yiadom had the last word with a shot clutched by Beasant, then the final whistle signalled a win which nobody would have predicted after 70 minutes of play.

Barnet had provided stern opposition, making up in energy and tenacity for what they lacked in sophistication, but once United had got their noses in front there was only one winner, with Akinde’s miss just before Berry scored the turning point of the match. Derry was understandably delighted that his team had found a way to win their fifth League game in six matches despite being outplayed for so long, and perhaps playing their second game in three days had adversely affected some players, albeit it was the same for their opponents. Nonetheless, the manager and supporters will not wish to see a repeat of that feeble, slipshod first 70 minutes, and an awful lot more of that exciting attacking machine of the last twenty in 2016.

Motorhead summed up the latter best…
Only way to feel the noise is when it’s good and loud
So good I can’t believe it, screamin’ with the crowd
Don’t sweat it, get it back to you

Overkill! Overkill! Overkill!

Statto Corner
United are now unbeaten in their last six League matches. This is their longest such run since March/April 2014, when they were undefeated in 9 consecutive games. The last such run in the Football League came in the same period of 2003, when they drew 1-1 at Oxford, won 1-0 at Carlisle, beat Bournemouth 2-1 at the Abbey (whatever happened to them…?), drew 1-1 at home to Scunthorpe, drew 1-1 at Macclesfield and defeated Exeter 2-1 at home.

Today’s attendance of 6,003 is the third figure of over 6,000 at the Abbey this season, following 6,607 against Portsmouth and 6,298 versus Luton (both 3-1 defeats). Last term there were a remarkable nine such attendances at the Abbey, including two in the FA Cup, four of which were in excess of 7,000. There was just one 6,000+ crowd here in 2013-14, against Luton, and none at all in the preceding four seasons, with three during 2008-09, two in 2007-08, one in 2006-07 and none in 2005-06. There was only one in United’s last season in their first spell in the League of 2004-05, 6,715 against Southend on 28th March. United lost 2-0 with a line-up that read: Ruddy, Gleeson, Newey, Tann, Duncan, Walker, Tudor, Chillingworth, Roberts, Somner, Nicholls. Used subs: Toner, Turner, Quinton.

United’s 3-0 win at Dagenham & Redbridge on Boxing Day was their third consecutive victory on their travels, and their best run away from home since March/April 2014, when they won 3-0 at Salisbury, 1-0 at Macclesfield and 3-0 at Woking. Their next target of four in a row was last achieved during February 2009, while they have not won four Football League away games in a row since the tail-end of 1993-94 when a phenomenal run saw them defeat Fulham 2-0, Exeter 5-0, Plymouth 3-0 and Cardiff 7-2.

United have not won five consecutive away league matches since their Cambs League days, when they achieved that feat during 1938-39, 1933-34 and 1928-29. They topped that last run with a sixth ‘away’ win in the Division One Championship match (the league was divided into regionalised north and south Cambs divisions) against the North Cambs champions, Chatteris Town, a match which was staged at Cambridge Town’s Milton Road ground.
United were the better side in the first half, but after Sid Hulyer gave them the lead, Cave equalised to keep the scores level; “a main feature of the game was the long kicking tactics adopted by both teams.” Dick Harris restored the Abbey’s lead on 70 minutes, and when “Darley” Watson made it 3-1 ten minutes from time, they looked set for a happy ending to the season. Somehow, though, Chatteris scored twice in the last eight minutes to level it up and send the match into extra time.

A couple of the Chatteris men seemed disinclined to continue (extra time was a rare occurrence in those days) and began to walk off the field until they were persuaded to continue. Then United skipper George Alsop took charge and smashed in two of his ‘specials’ from outside the box in the first half of added time, although Chatteris made it 5-4 shortly before the end to make the score identical to that between the sides three weeks previously. It clinched the last of five trophies that the great United side won that season.

Dylan Williams is the ninth man to be allocated squad number 32 at the Abbey. His predecessors are: Daniel Chillingworth, Dave Kitson, Warren Goodhind, Nick Robbins, Jeremy Izod (a sponsor rather than a player), Bobby-Joe Taylor, Jason Brown and Ryan Bird.

Player Ratings
Beasant 7. Competent performance and was hopelessly exposed for the goal he conceded.
Omozusi 7. Quietly effective.
Legge 8. Such a colossal presence.
Roberts 7. Used his experience to make up for his lack of pace.
Dunk 7. Decent job at left-back but truly blossomed once given a more attacking role.
Ledson 6. Youngster looked like he needed a rest.
Newton 5. A rare poor display typified by the error that led to Barnet’s goal.
Berry 7. Not used to his best advantage but stuck at it and continued his golden touch in front of goal.
Simpson 6. Gave 100 per cent as usual, although struggled to make an impact.
Williamson 7. Pacy and exciting.
Corr 8. Another mighty effort.
Demetriou 7. Classy performer who helped make the difference in the second-half reshuffle.

Match Summary

On a schizophrenic afternoon at the Abbey, the United men wandered around the pitch for 70 minutes as if they had just come off a three-day Christmas bender against an effective Barnet side, but a festive miracle of two goals in 80 seconds turned the whole game on its head and after that it was just a case of how many more they could score. Start the next game how you finished this one, please lads.

Man of the Match
Barry Corr. May not be playing at full throttle, but put in a tireless shift, both up front and funnelling back, and also continued this season’s phenomenal scoring run. A fantastic signing.

Ref Watch
Webb 4. There is nothing more irritating than a referee who whistles every 30 seconds, but this chap went too far the other way, ignoring all manner of dubious challenges, most of which seemed to be on United players. Gold star for booking the cheat Akinde, though.

Soundtrack of the Day
Roots Manuva “Fighting For”

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Cambridge United 1-1 Mansfield Town: The bells, the bells
Andrew Bennett reporting:
It was Christmas Eve, babe, at the Abbey

Dave Doggett said to me, ‘D’you wanna buy Chris Dunn?’
And then he sang a song, something by the Moose Troop
I turned my face away, and dreamed about the U’s
We played the Peterborough, beat them eighteen to one
I’ve got a feeling next year will be big fun
So Happy Christmas, Darragh McAnthony
I can see a better time when your nightmares come true
They’ve laid on extra bars, revenue streams of gold

But the wind goes right through you in the Habbin of old
When you first took my hand after the Toon Army
You promised me Arsenal were waiting for me
You were handsome
You were pretty, used to manage AIK

When the Man U match finished they howled out for more
Donaldo was swinging, the Main Stand was singing
You kissed Colin Proctor and danced through the night
The boys of the NRE choir were singing ‘Barry Fry’

And the bells are ringing out for Christmas Day
I was great, now I’m sunk

‘Cos your team turned to junk
To make some of those signings you’re out of your head
Look, don’t be a prannet, you just want to pan it
Happy Christmas your arse, were you not entertained?
The boys of the NRE choir still singing ‘Barry Fry’

And the bells are ringing out for Christmas Day
You could have made League One

Well, so could anyone
I never dreamed that Ling would manage that one
You terrorised MJ, your style was all your own
Now you are all alone, you should go back to Luton
The boys of the NRE choir still singing ‘Barry Fry’

And the bells are ringing out for Christmas Day
es, ‘tis the season once again, although the weather seems to indicate that it’s late spring rather than the not-so-bleak midwinter. Good old global warming. It certainly feels like spring again at the Abbey with Shaun Derry’s warm breeze of positivity and tactics that actually make sense, meaning a reasonably merry Christmas and the prospect of a fairly happy New Year for all those of the black and amber persuasion.

Mansfield were Richard Money’s first league opponents when he took over in October 2012, and are another team which now look revitalised from last season’s mediocrity. Their team today boasted one former U’s loanee, Matty Blair, and two former Abbey trialists, Ryan Tafazolli and Reggie Lambe, with a striker from United’s Conference days, Craig Westcarr, on their bench. They also sported an unusual change strip of sky blue and chocolate brown stripes, the colours of yours truly’s alma mater, the Cambridge Grammar School for Boys, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
United line-up: Beasant; Gayle, Legge, Roberts, Taylor; Berry, Newton, Ledson, Dunk; Williamson, Corr
On the bench: Dunn, Kennedy, Coulson, L.Hughes, Donaldson, Slew, Simpson

Derry unsurprisingly selected an unchanged side from that which won at Plymouth last week, with Jordan Slew replacing Jordan Jones amongst the subs following the latter’s early return to Middlesbrough after a spectacularly unsuccessful loan spell.

There was a stiff breeze blowing towards the Corona End on an otherwise balmy afternoon, but Mansfield, attacking in that direction in the first half, kept the ball on the floor, knocking it around with confidence and making good use of the flanks. They enjoyed much the better of early proceedings, Blair crossing for Matt Green to nod over on 4, while for United, Greg Taylor found the head of Barry Corr at the far post but he could not generate sufficient power to trouble 40-year-old keeper Brian Jensen.

The visitors continued to take the game to United and Chris Clements flashed a shot wide on 9, while eight minutes later disaster almost struck when Sam Beasant’s attempted clearance cannoned off the back of Green and almost sailed into the net in a near-copy of Ben Williamson’s goal against Notts County last month, which made the United players’ protests rather hard to fathom.

A minute later Williamson almost did it again at the other end, charging down Jensen’s clearance, but it bounced over the bar. Cameron Gayle was an early casualty, withdrawing on 19 due to a hamstring strain; he was replaced by Ryan Donaldson, who stationed himself on the left wing with Harrison Dunk switching to left-back and Taylor moving over to the right.

Two minutes later Ryan Ledson was first into the book for a foul on Blair. The ensuing free-kick was a good 35 yards out and both sides packed the box with bodies, but Adam Chapman chose to go directly for goal, and somehow his none-too-powerful daisycutter of a shot bobbled in past a late-sprawling Beasant. Perhaps the keeper was partially unsighted, perhaps it bounced unkindly, but it was a dreadful error, a bread-and-butter save that any competent keeper at this level should be able to make. 1-0.

Earlier in the season United might have let their heads drop at such a setback, as well as having been outplayed, but their response was swift and positive and they took charge of the rest of the half. Taylor crossed to Corr at the back post on 27 and his header into the six-yard box was steered into the net by Luke Berry, but he fell foul of the offside flag. A minute later more speedy passing culminated in Ledson attempting a curler from 15 yards, but it was palmed away by Jensen.

Mitch Rose was Mansfield’s first bookee on 33 for a needless lunge on Dunk, and three minutes later the U’s were level. Donaldson had now switched to the right, and he made one of his trademark scampers for goal from deep; once inside the box, he shot for the bottom right corner, only for his effort to flick off Krystian Pearce’s heel and nestle in the opposite side past the bemused Jensen. 1-1.

After being hustled out of their game for the first 20 minutes, now it was United who set the pace, and the Stags’ defence found Williamson’s pace especially difficult to cope with. Ledson’s superb through ball on 43 sent him away down the left channel, but his shot from a tight angle was blocked when he might have been better employed squaring it to one of his colleagues. The Ledson-Williamson combination repeated the trick shortly afterwards, but this time Pearce made the block.

The hosts’ high pressing created another opportunity in added time, Corr’s interception sending Conor Newton haring clear down the right channel, but his cross was poked the wrong side of the post by Corr. So ended a half of two halves, in which first Mansfield had dictated the pace, then United had taken over and might well have ended it a goal in front; in fact they would have done, if not for Beasant’s careless mistake.

As much as the first half had been entertaining, the second half turned out to be scrappy, sometimes without the ‘s’. Mansfield came out with a more containing intent, while the U’s struggled to get the measure of the following wind, overhitting pass after pass as well as playing too many hopeful long balls instead of keeping it on the floor and playing the simple ball. The result was that neither keeper had much to do at all as the game became bogged down in midfield with neither team able to muster sufficient quality in the final third. Corr won his share of headers and flicks but Williamson was well marshalled by a deeper-lying defence, while the midfield could not produce any telling through balls, with Berry rather wasted out of position on the left flank.

Neither side could muster so much as a shot until Newton had one blocked on the hour. Three minutes later Leon Legge nodded a Donaldson corner wide, then when Corr was fouled by Pearce, Newton lifted a deeply disappointing free-kick into the car park from 20 yards out. Hopefully Berry or Donaldson will get a go next time.

Nathan Thomas replaced the anonymous Blair for the visitors on 66, but despite winning a couple of corners United did not look like making a breakthrough, Berry essaying a hopeful volley over the top on 77. Mansfield began to find some space going forward in the last ten minutes and Thomas had a couple of shots blocked, and United almost threw it away two minutes from time when Legge’s imprudent attempted clearance cannoned off Green, allowing him to race through on goal, only to be denied by a good save from Beasant, atoning a little for his first half calamity.

Adi Yussuf then replaced Lambe, and into stoppage time there was one last moment of panic at a Mansfield corner when Pearce’s close-range shot was blocked by someone on the line. It only remained for Green to be booked for a foul on Dunk, and the stalemate came to an end, a fair result all round and a decent outcome for the U’s against a useful, in-form side, albeit they had given them the softest of a goal’s start. With a little more fine tuning, this team has the potential to continue to push upwards in the second half of the season. And that would be the kind of fairytale we could all enjoy.

Statto Corner
United are now unbeaten in their last four league games. This is their longest such run this season, and something they did not manage in the whole of last term. The last time they went unbeaten in more than three consecutive league games was in a run of nine matches between 11th March and 12th April 2014, which consisted of: Luton (h) 1-1, Dartford (h) 1-1, Welling (h) 2-1, Salisbury (a) 3-0, Barnet (h) 1-1, Macclesfield (a) 1-0, Southport (h) 3-1, Woking (a) 3-0, Hyde (h) 7-2. They then lost five games in a row without scoring a goal before defeating Halifax 2-0 in the playoff semi-final second leg and, of course, Gateshead in the final.

The last time United went as many as four games unbeaten in the Football League was in the last four matches of the 2003-04 season. They drew 0-0 at home to Kidderminster, 2-2 at Barnet, beat Scunthorpe 3-2 at the Abbey then won 1-0 at Leyton Orient, with John Ruddy saving a penalty on his debut.

Mansfield’s squad today contained four players who have worn the black and amber. Matty Blair was signed on loan from Fleetwood Town last season and made his debut in a 2-1 defeat at Accrington Stanley on 22nd November. He was a substitute in one more League game and made one start and one sub appearance in the FA Cup before Richard Money decided he did not want to sign him permanently.

Craig Westcarr signed for United in their first Conference season of 2005-06 after his release from Nottingham Forest. He made 23 starts and 8 as sub, scoring 8 goals, before leaving to join Kettering Town, eventually finding his way to the Football League with Notts County via Stevenage, and has since also been on the books of Chesterfield, Walsall and Portsmouth.

Reggie Lambe came to the Abbey in the pre-season of 2011-12 following his release by Ipswich Town. He took part in two friendlies as a trialist, a 2-1 defeat at Bedford and a 1-1 draw at Bury Town, before jetting off to try his luck in Toronto, eventually joining Mansfield after a spell in Sweden with Nykopings BIS.

Ryan Tafazolli had been on Southampton’s books when he was a trialist for a United XI in a 1-1 draw with Brentford’s development squad on 28th February 2012. He subsequently signed for Cambridge City, then moved on to Concord Rangers before being picked up by Mansfield.

Player Ratings
Beasant 5. Did most things competently, but his dreadful mistake effectively cost the team two points and United really must find a keeper of greater quality than the two they have fielded this season if they have any pretensions to a promotion push.
Gayle 5. Given a torrid time down the flank until forced off after 19 minutes.
Legge 7. Strong, no-nonsense display as usual.
Roberts 7. Much better defensively, good at spotting danger early. Now if only he would pass the ball to his team-mates when in possession instead of humping the ball long EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Taylor 8. United’s most improved player this season.
Berry 7. Never at his most effective when employed on the wings, but put in a decent shift.
Ledson 7. A little up and down as you would expect from a teenager, but showed several flashes of Premier League class.
Newton 7. Now firmly established as a pivotal figure in central midfield.
Dunk 7. Spent most of the game at left-back and gave a good account of himself.
Williamson 7. Mansfield could not cope with his pace and he really should have done better with the several chances which came his way.
Corr 7. Not playing at full pelt but still made a useful contribution.
Donaldson 7. Energetic and committed, let us hope he can find his best form again.

Match Summary
United would probably have lost this game a few weeks ago, and could well have won it as well, but a draw was ultimately a fair result against an in-form Mansfield side after a scrappy second half in which the teams ended up just cancelling each other out.

Man of the Match
Greg Taylor. His step up in form has been an unexpected and welcome surprise.

Ref Watch
Joyce 7. A little laissez-faire on occasion, but rather a ref who tries to keep play flowing than one who blows for every other challenge.

Soundtrack of the Day
Frankie & the Heartstrings featuring Edwyn Collins “(Too Right) It’s Christmas”

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The highlight from yesterday at The Abbey - Andrew Bennett's match report:

CAMBRIDGE UNITED 2-3 ACCRINGTON STANLEY: Up against the wall
Partridge: I loved that phrase you used, it was very clever – ‘Revolution not evolution'.
Hayers: No, it was the opposite. ‘Evolution not revolution'.
Partridge: Well whatever. Because that is me. I ‘evolve', but I don't…‘revolve'. Or vice-versa.

Every time a football club changes its manager it is like a country’s change of regime; out with the old ideas, in with new ideologies. All hail the new chief: the revolution starts here. Richard Money will always be rightfully feted for his superb achievements at the Abbey, but as the old saying goes, he had taken us as far as he could. The team’s dramatic slump in form in the second half of last season was the first sign, then came this pre-season when at the last minute he suddenly and inexplicably decided that he would switch to a wing-back system despite having assembled a squad which did not suit it, and the subsequent failure of many of his hand-picked new signings to make any sort of impression, not to mention the several who were not fit when he signed them and still aren’t fit now. No amount of tinkering could remedy that.
“There are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen.” (V.I. Lenin)

So welcome Shaun Derry, who will assume the mantle of curmudgeonly quote-maker and scourge of local media as well as trying to make a cogent team out of an unevenly weighted squad, something like assembling a Death Star out of parts from a combine harvester. Derry wasted no time this week in strengthening the parts of his squad which needed it (i.e. all of it) by signing three loanees, Sheffield United centre-back Terry Kennedy, Gillingham striker Ben Williamson and teenage Everton wonderboy Ryan Ledson, and all three were handed immediate debuts against high-flying Accrington Stanley.

United line-up: Dunn; Taylor, Legge, Kennedy, Demetriou; Donaldson, Berry, Ledson, Dunk; Williamson, Corr
On the bench: Beasant, Roberts, Davies, Newton, J.Hughes, Slew, Gaffney

Derry demonstrated admirable decisiveness in dropping off-form skipper Mark Roberts, handing the armband to Luke Berry, while Conor Newton and Rory Gaffney were also displaced by the new boys and Greg Taylor replaced Alie Sesay, who returned to Leicester at the end of his loan spell. There was another intriguing new name amongst the substitutes in 15-year-old Leon Davies, an attacking right-back who was outstanding in the youth team’s penalties defeat to Stevenage on Wednesday and clearly impressed the new boss, while there was no place on the bench for names like Simpson, Coulson, Morrissey, Liam Hughes, Chiedozie, Carr or Omozusi. They might be injured, they might be out of favour, they might be wintering in the Bahamas for all we know because the club seems more interested in pushing new and exciting corporate marketing opportunities than giving us any information about its players.

“A revolution is not a bed of roses. A revolution is a struggle between the future and the past.” (Fidel Castro)

Opponents Stanley have experienced something of a revival under John Coleman, in his second spell in charge, and have benefitted from the goals of Josh Windass, son of Dean, who was the only outfield player to wear gloves today. Just wait until Dad finds out, sonny. The clubs had met only twice before at the Abbey, United winning 3-1 in their first meeting in August 2005 with goals from Mark Angel, Darren Quinton and David Bridges, and drawing 2-2 last season thanks to Tom Elliott and Ryan Bird.

After the usual apocalyptic weather forecasts it was rather surprising to wake up not to a white-blanketed winter wonderland but a bright, sunny day, albeit tempered by a brisk breeze that was as chilly as the average turkey’s life expectancy. Christmas is coming, folks, ready or not.

“Revolutions spring not from accident, but from necessity. A revolution is a return from the factitious to the real. It takes place because it must.” (Victor Hugo)
The match commenced in lively fashion, with Windass firing over the United goal then Harrison Dunk speeding down the left flank to plant a cross onto Barry Corr’s head, but keeper Jason Mooney clutched comfortably. The hosts’ game plan swiftly became evident, as they worked to close their opponents down all over the park. All of the new boys settled into Derry’s classic 4-4-2 formation with ease, Williamson roaming tirelessly around Corr, Kennedy solid alongside Leon Legge at the back and Ledson a dynamic presence in central midfield, tackling tigerishly while also displaying a perceptive range of passing.

Ledson also had a decent shot on him and tested Mooney with a low, powerful long-range drive on 12 which the keeper had to dive to scoop around the post. A minute later the U’s were ahead. Ryan Donaldson’s free-kick into the box was cleared as far as Mickey Demetriou, he lofted it back in, Legge headed it on, and there was Corr to steer it expertly home from 10 yards out. 1-0.

While United continued to take the game to Stanley, their opponents were speedy and dangerous on the break. Billy Kee headed wide on 16, and three minutes later Williamson curled a shot narrowly wide up the other end. United’s pressure forced Mooney into a hurried clearance on 26 which fell to Berry 40 yards out, and his lob at the empty goal initially looked set to bounce in before falling wide.

Accrington remained dangerous, though, and they equalised on 29 when Kee’s through ball cut out the entire U’s team and Sean McConville produced a superb finish past Chris Dunn into the top left corner. 1-1.

The United team of the last few months would have let their heads drop, but this line-up remained positive and carried on playing their pressing game and the scoring attempts continued at both ends. Williamson fired wide from close range on the half-hour, then Brad Halliday missed the target for Stanley and Piero Mingoia drew a save from Dunn.
Back came the U’s and on 37 Donaldson broke down the right before laying it inside for Berry 20 yards out; with no challenge forthcoming, he drilled a perfectly-placed shot with his left foot low into the bottom right corner, just out of Mooney’s reach. 2-1.

Hulking holding midfielder Matt Crooks was booked for his protests at a perceived foul in the build-up, and when he chopped Dunk down less than a minute later his dismissal seemed like an open-and-shut case, but ref Iain Williamson invoked the little-known unwritten rule that if two bookable offences are committed within a short time of each other, the second one mystically does not become bookable at all and can be covered up with a pompous lecture instead.

Still the teams flew at each other. Matty Pearson shot over for the visitors, Donaldson found Corr at the back post but his header was blocked heroically by Mooney, and Williamson shot just wide.

The half-time whistle ended a satisfactory first period for United, who had ridden their luck at times but competed energetically and committedly and remained positive at all times against useful opposition.

“You say you got a real solution
Well, you know we’d all love to see the plan
You ask me for a contribution
Well, you know we’re all doing what we can”
(The Beatles, “Revolution”)

Newton replaced the injured Taylor for the second half, a bit of a square peg in a round hole but the only alternative was the 15-year-old Davies, which would have been a gamble too far. United needed to keep their noses in front, but disaster struck three minutes in when Windass flighted a corner from the right, Dunn fumbled hopelessly and it fell straight to the boot of Tom Davies, who lashed it into the roof of the net. 2-2.
Dunn had cut a hesitant and uncertain figure during the first half in the face of some dangerous Stanley crosses, with his defenders having to dive in and clear when they might have expected him to come and claim. Sadly he shows no sign of addressing his communication problems and at the age of 28 it seems he never will, although you have to wonder why the club employs a goalkeeping coach.

Pearson was next into the book for a foul on Donaldson, but the U’s were undone by the mediocre ref on 53 when Kee threw himself to the ground as he jostled with Newton and Legge, neither of whom was booked, and won himself an exceedingly soft penalty. Windass sent Dunn the wrong way: 3-2.

In the space of five minutes a lead had become a deficit and for a time shellshocked United looked to have no response. Corr nodded a corner over the top and Dunn made a good reaction save from Mingoia as he was allowed to scamper unhindered through the midfield and defence, while further vulnerability to the visitors’ speed of attack forced Kennedy to bring down McConville on the edge of the box on the hour, for which he was booked. McConville lofted the ensuing free-kick hopelessly into the South Stand.

Controversy reigned on 67 when United launched an attack down the middle, Williamson was brought down by Davies but Berry burst through into the box, only for the ref to whistle prematurely for a free-kick instead of waiting a few seconds to see what advantage arose. Davies was booked, but it was poor officiating and the U’s players were as disgusted as the Stanley players were relieved.

Williamson dragged a shot wide on 70 and Dunk produced his team’s best effort of the half three minutes later with a tremendous curling shot which looked destined for the top corner until clawed over by Mooney. Newton was carded for bringing down Pearson on 75, then Windass followed him into the book for cynically kicking the ball away to waste time.

Shay McCartan replaced Windass for the final 10 minutes, then Derry finally made a change, although not the one the fans wanted as he replaced Donaldson with Jordan Slew, who unsurprisingly made no impression in a rather chaotic 4-3-3 formation. Kee and McCartan missed the target for the visitors as Stanley regularly caught United on the break, and in the added five minutes Berry dragged a shot wide and the visitors made two time-consuming substitutions, introducing Terry Gornell and Andrew Proctor for Kee and Crooks. In a final attack Demetriou flung himself at a corner but headed well over, and the match had slipped away.

“If you want a revolution, baby
There is nothing like your own
You don't have to do all those burning books
Revolutionize at home”
(World Party, “Private Revolution”)

It was no disgrace to lose to a confident and useful Accrington side, but the circumstances were undeniably unsatisfactory, losing a lead to a bad goalkeeping error and a dubious penalty, but on such moments matches hinge. The team’s energy and commitment, especially in the first half, was a positive, as were many individual performances, but Rome was not built in a day and neither will Derry’s United team. At least he has time, but not that much, and if results do not come quickly, the pressure will undoubtedly mount. Now he must truly know the size of his task. Vive la Revolution.

“The revolution will not go better with Coke. The revolution will not fight the germs that may cause bad breath. The revolution will put you in the driver’s seat. The revolution will not be televised. The revolution will be no re-run, brothers. The revolution will be live.” (Gil Scott-Heron)

Statto Corner
United have conceded three goals at home four times this season already; before today they had lost 3-0 to Crawley and 3-1 to Luton and Portsmouth. Last season they did not let in three or more goals at the Abbey until 21st February, when they lost 6-2 to Portsmouth, then went on to lose 3-0 to York and 3-2 to Burton Albion.

During the 2013-14 Conference promotion season the U’s did not concede more than two goals at home in a league game all season. During the previous term, in which Richard Money took over in October, they did so six times.

United have lost their last three League matches. The last time this happened was in September 2014, when they lost 2-1 at home to Exeter and 1-0 to Luton, then were defeated 1-0 at Wycombe. They then went on to win 3-1 at eventual champions Burton and thrashed Oxford United 5-1.

Ben Williamson is the second player of that surname to play for Cambridge United. The first, Davey, was a midfield player who signed from Motherwell in August 1996 but did not make his League debut for a full year, on 9th August 1987, in a 1-0 home defeat by Scarborough. In all he made two League starts, plus four as substitute, without scoring, and also started two League Cup games and one in the Auto Windscreens Shield. After his last game in February 1998 he went on to a nomadic career in Ireland, Hong Kong, Malta, Finland and Cambridge City.

Ryan Ledson is the sixth player with that first name to play for the U’s, after Messrs Lockett (2003-04), Charles (2011-12), Jackson (2011-12), Bird (2013-15) and Donaldson.
Terry Kennedy is the 15th United player to wear the squad number 12, and the third this season. His predecessors were: Michael Kyd, Tom Cowan, Dan Chillingworth, Igor Latte-Yedo, Ryan Lockett, Jon Brady, Josh Simpson, Leo Fortune-West, Jack Jeffery, Josh Coulson, Rory McAuley, Matteo Lanzoni, Jacob Blyth and Alie Sesay.

Shaun Derry played against the U’s three times in his onfield career and never finished on the losing side; in fact United never scored against a team for which he played. He turned out for Notts County when they defeated the U’s 1-0 in a League match on 25th October 1997, and played for Portsmouth in both legs of a first round Worthington Cup tie in 2000-01, which finished in a goalless draw at the Abbey and a 1-0 home win for Pompey.

Player Ratings
Dunn 5. Typically hesitant and worrying to his defence, his mistake soon after the break altered the course of the match and no amount of decent saves after that could make up for it.
Taylor 7. Continued his recent fine form until forced off by injury at half-time.
Demetriou 7. Reliable shift.
Legge 7. Strong as ever.
Kennedy 7. Decisive, no-nonsense defender.
Donaldson 7. Very decent first half, faded somewhat thereafter.
Berry 8. This is more like it.
Ledson 8. Clearly a very talented young man.
Dunk 8. Another tireless performance from United’s most consistent player.
Williamson 6. Ran around a lot busily, although I fail to see what he brought to the team that Gaffney already does better.
Corr 7. Tough, physical battle with the Stanley defence and contributed his usual goal.
Newton 6. Competent stand-in for Taylor.

Slew 5. Made no impression whatsoever. He must look like Lionel Messi in training, but on the pitch he’s about as effective as Lionel Richie.

Match Summary
An encouraging start for the new boss was ruined in five second-half minutes by a goalkeeping error and a harsh refereeing decision. We’ll take the positives, but there are still plenty of negatives to be addressed.

Man of the Match
Luke Berry. Clever decision by Derry to make Luke captain and it produced his best performance of the season.

Ref Watch
Williamson 3. Gutless, error-strewn display of poor decisions and general incompetence.

Soundtrack of the Day
Savages “T.I.W.Y.G. (This Is What You Get)”
“The truth of revolution, brother…is Year Zero.” (Crass, “Bloody Revolutions”)

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Cambridge United 1-2 Bristol Rovers: End of the World'Coconutter' Andrew Bennett's eagerly awaited Friday evening match report:

"This game has been brought forward to this evening because of the Rugby World Cup Final taking place tomorrow,” wrote Richard Money in his programme notes. “It promises to be a belter with arguably the two best teams in the world set to go toe-to-toe.”
I don’t know about you, but calling Cambridge United and Bristol Rovers “the two best teams in the world” struck me a little hyperbolic and quite out of character for an understated chappie like our beloved manager, but hey, I admired his positivity and showed that he was setting his sights high.

United were the only League club to change the date of their home game because of some minority sport final between two teams from the other side of world, which many of us had no interest in or intention to watch anyway; the only other League game tonight, at Brentford, was switched so that it could be shown live on television. Bit embarrassing.
At least it meant the U’s would not be playing on Halloween. Opinion varies on the meaning of this inexplicably popular occasion; some say it is a remembrance and celebration of the dead, while others believe it marks the end of harvest time and the beginning of the long winter nights. In reality, it is of course a slick, meaningless marketing tool aimed at parting children and their parents with vast sums of money for absolutely no good reason at all and leave them with a lot of useless costumes and props that will go straight in the bin the following day, to be replaced at even greater expense a year later. Mind you, that’s a pretty good description of much of modern life these days, football included.

It was a pleasantly mild, dry Autumn evening and the first morons of November were already letting off rockets into the sky, unable to wait six days to see the pretty colours and noises like overactive four-year-olds. Bristol Rovers brought a decent following of 562, having dodged a bullet by escaping from the ninth circle of Hell that is the Blue Bananarama GM Vauxhall National Conference League, or whatever it is called these days, at the first attempt, the lucky so-and-so’s. They arrived fresh from a 4-1 home gubbing by Newport County, of all people, but already had five away wins to their name so were clearly not to be underestimated, even though their attack was led by Jermaine Easter, a player who spent an underwhelming spell at the Abbey just over ten years ago, albeit in a very poor side. What’s that? He’s a Welsh international? So was Jason Rees…
United line-up: Dunn; Sesay, Roberts, Taylor, Dunk; L.Hughes, Berry, J.Hughes, Donaldson; Simpson, Corr
On the bench: Beasant, Omozusi, Coulson, Demetriou, Newton, Slew, Gaffney

Money made three changes to the team that delivered a curate’s egg at Yeovil, recalling Chris Dunn in goal (a little harsh on Sam Beasant), Mark Roberts returning from suspension in place of the crocked George Taft, and Robbie Simpson starting up front instead of Rory Gaffney, a puzzling decision given that the ginger goal machine had scored twice in an hour last time out. Word had it that there were injury doubts about the Irishman, but you wouldn’t have known that from this most unhelpfully uncommunicative of managers, apparently driven by paranoia that the opposition would be able to win simply by knowing that one of our players was not fully fit. Alie Sesay and Greg Taylor swapped positions to right-back and centre-back respectively, while the best left-back at the club, Mickey Demetriou, remained on the bench, so his position was covered by Harrison Dunk, the best attacking player on the books bar Barry Corr. Promising 16-year-old prospect Matthew Foy took part in the warm-up, sporting squad number 31, but he was not among the substitutes.

Tonight also marked the last game at the club for the redoubtable Greg Reid, who has served United with such admirable reliability and distinction for 19 years. You’ll be a hard act to follow, Penfold.

United started brightly and had a decent claim for a penalty on 6 when Barry Corr went down under a challenge from James Clarke, but only gained a corner. Rovers’ first chance came from a Jake Gosling free-kick three minutes later which the wall deflected behind.

Ryan Donaldson’s corner on 11 found the head of Corr, but it was comfortably caught by keeper Lee Nicholls, then back up the other end Ellis Harrison fired for goal but a deflection slowed his shot down to make it easy for Dunn. The U’s continued to take the game to the Gas and a fine cross from Donaldson across the six-yard box deserved to have someone on the end of it, then Jeff Hughes crossed for Corr to hook the ball goalwards but again Nicholls had no problem gathering.

It was a lively and enjoyable tussle so far with good shape and movement from the U’s and the visitors looking promising on the break. Dunk had a shot blocked on 22, and three minutes later a fine through ball from Luke Berry sent Donaldson into the box but he tried to change feet instead of shooting when he had the chance and was crowded out.
United made the breakthrough their probing deserved on 33. Dunk overlapped past Donaldson down the left touchline, the latter fed the former and his superb pinpoint cross dropped onto the head of the unmarked Corr to ram home for his eighth goal of the season. 1-0.

Three minutes later Corr demonstrated his confidence by hooking the ball goalwards on the turn from inside the centre circle, but it sailed well wide. The rest of the half was fairly uneventful and United went into the interval with a lead they just about deserved, having played reasonably well without hitting any great heights. Now could they maintain their level of performance for a second 45 minutes, for a change?

Early portents were not good as Rovers tore into the U’s from the start, appearing to have adopted a shoot-on-sight policy. Harrison had a shot blocked for a corner on 46 which was cleared, Lee Brown had an effort charged down, then Brown’s cross found Harrison’s head in similar style to United’s goal but his header bounced off the top of the bar when he really should have scored. Billy Bodin then set up Easter for a prod at goal which was dealt with by Dunn.

The alarm bells were ringing for United, but there was no sign of anyone either on the field or on the bench trying to gee the players up or showing any form of leadership. They managed an attack on 53 which culminated in Robbie Simpson being felled for a free-kick 25 yards out, but Donaldson’s effort went straight into the wall amid futile claims for handball. Harrison had a shot clutched by Dunn on 58, but as the hour mark passed the U’s seemed to have weathered the early storm and the game began to settle down.

Easter was replaced by Matty Taylor after an anonymous performance, and on 66 Rovers were level. It was a goal of simplicity as the visitors strolled through the middle of the United side with minimal resistance, Taylor’s run culminating in an unchallenged shot which Dunn could only parry straight into the path of Harrison, who rifled home from close range. Good attacking, shoddy defending: 1-1.

Money made some positive changes on 70, introducing Demetriou and Gaffney for Liam Hughes and Simpson with Dunk now on the left wing and Donaldson on the right. Gaffney and Dunk lifted the team for a short while with their positive, pacy running and Dunk headed Jeff Hughes’ cross wide on 78, while ref Malone finally found his yellow card a minute later and booked Clarke for a trip on Dunk. Tremendous footwork from Gaffney was then followed by a powerful shot which was blocked and there was a feeling that despite a passive second half, United might still conjure up a winner from somewhere.

That feeling was dispelled in traumatic fashion on 82. A harmless ball down the middle was left by Demetriou for Greg Taylor, but caught unawares, he made a complete hash of his attempted back pass to Dunn, underhitting it dreadfully, and Matty Taylor pounced, running on to take it round the keeper and slot into the empty net. Disastrous: 2-1.

Conor Newton was then introduced for Donaldson, but United completely failed to put Rovers under any sort of pressure and the visitors contented themselves by running down the clock in the corners. Deep into stoppage time as the U’s pressed belatedly they were caught on the break and Dunn made a superb reaction save from Taylor, then a spate of pinball in the Rovers box ended in Hughes having a shot blocked in the six-yard box, and the final action of the game was another breakaway for the visitors, two on one, but Greg Taylor made a vital interception.

Ultimately two pieces of poor defending had cost United dear, but they had not helped themselves by a timid, passive second-half performance which had encouraged Rovers to come on to them. This U’s team has everything on paper to challenge for promotion, but for some reason the players cannot perform with any sort of consistency, even within the two halves of the same match, and they must take a good, hard look at themselves and ask why they are underperforming on a regular basis. Ultimately the responsibility lies with the manager, and his post-match criticism of his players suggests that he is beginning to run out of ideas in that area, too.

A two-week break from League football and a seemingly easy Cup draw (ho ho) should afford the squad and coaching team time to get to the bottom of the squad’s underachievement so far this season. If they fail to find any answers, perhaps the club will have to look for someone who can. After all, they are by far the greatest team the world has ever seen…

Statto Corner
After 16 games, United are one point worse off than they were at this stage last season, when they had won 6 times, drawn 3 and lost 7 times. They had scored 6 more goals than this term and conceded 3 less, mainly thanks to 5-0 and 5-1 wins over Carlisle and Oxford respectively. The team has not scored five goals in a match since.

United’s home record against Bristol Rovers now reads five wins, four draws and six defeats, with 25 goals scored and 23 conceded. All of those games were in the Football League; the clubs have never met at the Abbey in any cup competition.

United’s last home win over Rovers was on 21st February 2004, by 3 goals to 1 in what was then known as Division Three. Alex Revell and Luke Guttridge gave the U’s an early lead, Adam Barrett pulled one back before half-time, but David Bridges made it 3-1 six minutes into the second half. Manager John Taylor was to enjoy just five more matches in charge before being sacked, to be replaced by Claude Le Roy and Herve Renard.
The United team was: Marshall; Angus, Duncan, Goodhind, Murray; Bridges, Tann, Guttridge, Nicholls; Revell, Webb. The only substitute used was Jermaine Easter, who played today for Bristol Rovers.

The best win for the U’s came on 28th February 1992 during the golden John Beck era. Goals by Andy Fensome (penalty), Dion Dublin (2), Chris Leadbitter, Neil Heaney and John Taylor saw them rampage to a 6-1 victory and they even scored Rovers’ goal, a Heaney own goal. Teams:
United: Sheffield; Fensome, Chapple, Daish, Kimble; Rowett, O’Shea, Dennis, Heaney; Claridge, Dublin. Used subs: Taylor, Leadbitter.
Rovers: Parkin, Alexander, Taylor, Clark, Cross, Skinner, Mehew, Reece, White, Saunders, Pounder. Used subs: Stewart, Maddison.

Jermaine Easter made his debut for the U’s on loan from Hartlepool on 7th February 2004 in a 1-0 defeat at Southend. That season he scored 2 goals in 10 starts plus 5 substitute appearances, then signed permanently at the Abbey. The following season he claimed 7 goals in 19 starts and 9 sub appearances in all competitions before being given a free transfer in March, ending up at Boston United. “Jermaine has been a good professional,” said manager Steve Thompson, “worked his socks off and tried his best, but I’ve made my mind up…He doesn’t fit the way I want to play. Jermaine lends himself to a more direct style of football.” He subsequently played for Stockport, Wycombe, Plymouth, Millwall, Colchester, MK Dons, Swansea, Crystal Palace and Millwall again, his cumulative transfer fees totalling some £400,000.

Player Ratings
Dunn 6. Failed to really justify his recall at the expense of Beasant; kicking still not up to scratch and still parries shots straight to strikers. Excellent reaction save right at the end.
Sesay 7. Always looked comfortable at right-back.
Roberts 6. Competent enough, but must be a more proactive captain when his team is in need of a kick up the backside. Some variation in his one pass, the long hoof forward, would also be appreciated.
Taylor 6. Greg has been a revelation in the last few weeks and was enjoying another good game today until THAT mistake. Must ensure that it does not affect his confidence.
Dunk 7. Wasted at left-back but United’s best player this season still made an impression, not least with his pinpoint cross for Corr’s goal.
L.Hughes 6. You know what you are getting with Liam: honest endeavour and total commitment. Added little to the team’s attacking threat, though.
Berry 6. Luke did not have a bad game, but is capable of so much better, and we really need to see that very, very soon.
J.Hughes 7. Splendid first half, driving the play on with pinpoint passing, although like most of his colleagues, faded after the break.
Donaldson 5. Sent over some decent crosses early on then disappeared from view. Not good enough, often enough.
Simpson 6. Ran his heart out with little end product.
Corr 7. Continues to deliver goals despite a supply line that could be so much better.


Demetriou 4. On past performances easily the best left-back at the club, but in his 25 minutes on the pitch tonight he made more mistakes than in all of his previous games put together. Was he ill?
Gaffney 7. A shining beacon of hope, with relentless positivity, strength, power and pace. Keep him fit, for goodness’ sake.
Newton 5. Given little time to make an impression; did not do so.

Match Summary
United’s season of inconsistency and underachievement continued with a schizophrenic and suicidal performance, a solid first half and a write-off of a second. Why can these players not deliver with any sort of reliability? What needs to change to make them do so? Does the manager know?

Man of the Match
Alie Sesay. Strong, tidy, cool in possession, he defended solidly and did not waste a single pass. Basically he did his job; if only all of his colleagues could say the same.

Ref Watch
Malone 5. Seemed determined to avoid any controversy or conflict of any sort, so only awarded free-kicks or bookings when he really had no other choice. Penalties? No chance.

Soundtrack of the Day
Iron and Wine “It’s The Same Old Song”

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